Complete Poetry Collection:

First Things

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Book 1

Introductory Essay

Fixing Problems

I need to remind myself daily that I am not responsible for fixing the world’s problems. I have a profound motivation to do so because of some of the influences both at school and from extended family.

I guess a lot of people think that Americans who are intelligent and capable hold some special responsibility for fixing the world’s problems. Maybe that is why so much of the world doesn’t like Americans.

Maybe I just need to accept emotionally that I am not responsible for anyone else’s happiness or solving anyone else’s problems. There are plenty of my own problems that I need God’s and other’s help with like my mental illness.

I just wish to contribute something of value to the world (beyond just ideas about mental illness) and this makes me feel better about my place in this world and gives me peace that I have done what I can. We are all somewhat responsible for the mess we are in.

It is looking like any way the world goes now that it will be increasingly difficult and dangerous to write about what we believe even in America. I think we are beginning to see American powers that be getting nervous about the level of dissent and division in America.

We are close to a tipping point where speaking about almost anything could be a threat to someone. It can come from the unlikeliest places. The Department of Defense has now officially admitted that Internet crime is a bigger threat to national security than terrorism.

It seems a world run by peasants isn’t such a good idea after all. Public hangings were always very popular. Ironically, it is only in the modern and civilized world that people do not want to be famous. Jealousy can be very ugly.

I am so glad I am so unimportant. We are all susceptible to basic problems like illness, misfortune, and poor decisions making. Being too important just increases the number of threats to your well being. Boring times in our lives are often some of the happiest.

Some Technical History

My first attempt at poetry post high school was while in the military, where I ended up writing some romantic poetry for a girl I liked while in high school. I ended up burning it during my paranoid episode (along with my plan for a Christian nation in modern Lebanon to protect Christians during the End of Times), because I believed that possible future romantic relationships (girlfriend or wife) would prefer that I not keep them. I had my paranoid episode and diagnosis of Paranoid Schizophrenia in December of 1999.

I kind of regretted this later on (both those creations I destroyed) and it was a big reason for my push to create and distribute my last 20 years of writings. I ended up writing a set of poetry between between when I came back from the military in August 1997 and the summer before 9/11 and put it together and decided to move on into programming. I changed my mind after 9/11 and realized I had more to say. I realized over time that programming was not as essential for the Internet/future society as original content, especially free content.

At the end of my time at college, I ended up taking some electives that really stuck with me. I just took them at the time as I failed, got no passes, or withdrawals for a number of classes at the time. These included several classes in Chinese Literature, Existentialism, Ecofeminism, and the famous feminist Beauvoir. All these as studied in this classes were primarily or largely philosophy based. These were some of the few As and Bs I got at the time.

I felt like I had failed at this time in both the military and in college as I never completed with one, until I became mentally ill. I tried a number of times to go back to college or take courses at the local community college, Bible college, and public university. By around the years 2006-2007, I had accumulated enough writing for my first series of books. I published these after learning LaTeX and used print on demand technology where another company actually printed the books I designed.

These were harder than just printing them out at the local store because they were professionally bound and the entire printing process was automated and so the PDFs had to be well structured and of a higher grade than you get from desktop publishing programs. I could order them in quantities as little as 1 copy and they cost about double the cost of an average book or the same cost as I sold them at cost.

I quickly learned that people preferred them printed out if I met them in person and digitally if they found my website online and never met me. At one time I converted each e-book into as many as 20 different file formats. I finally consolidated it to the 4 different file formats I have them in today. I distributed these with my website which I could not find a permanent name for, so ended up titling it the same as my name - first and middle as no one could spell my last name correct.

Over these last 20 years, I tried many different ways of making a website but never ended up using Javascript or third party designs very often after I was able to design my own things. I spent a lot of time supporting as many browsers as possible because early on I saw the importance of security and did not want to run a computer with Windows and so could not test on any version of Internet Explorer. I feel the same way about Google Chrome today.

Internet Explorer and its incompatibilities are a thing of the past because of a combination of open source software like Firefox (Mozilla), Wordpress, and LibreOffice, and companies like Apple, Google and Amazon. Very few people now use Internet Explorer especially in China and Microsoft is now officially basing its new browser on Google Chrome or some variation on that.

Today, the dominant computing platform is no longer PCs - it is smartphones. People of younger generations have known this for some time. What many people don’t realize is the scale of this. There are 10 times as many Android phones as there are Windows PCs and most of the world got online on their own device first on smartphones.

We are currently half way through another transition of devices which are 10 times the scale of smartphones. This is what we in tech call Internet of Things and this includes smart devices like Apple watches, Amazon smart speakers, voice assistants, wireless routers, and the like.

If you are making a website today, it is only a matter of time before you will need to support the Internet of Things as the primary platform your users will be using. Javascript is likely to be on the way out because of its complexity, unreliability, security problems, poor performance, rate of change, and the killer is its not necessary for many projects. This may be unwise, but current projects plan to merge Javascript and CSS.

I still do not know why people still develop mobile apps. The one beauty of the web is my website I started back in 1998 would still work even on an iPhone or even low end Android today and probably be much better for users than how most websites are designed now. My sister proudly doesn’t use any mobile apps. Without just one big player in social networking anymore, this area will become less important over time.

No one develops new projects for Windows anymore and almost anything you needed Windows to run runs on Linux and Linux is being merged with Windows at Microsoft. There will no longer be any new versions or users of Internet Explorer and even SQL Server is running on Linux as well. If you don’t ask for something specific for your website, for any hosting company, it will run-on Linux.

Microsoft is where IBM was in the 1990s. We will be using Microsoft software until the end of time, but Microsoft may not be around or if so recognizable 20 years from now. Microsoft lost because they fought smartphones and internet of things for decades and then could not and did not want to move into that area. Fighting the future rarely works and the Internet and open source changed everything.

Mission / Philosophy

Why This Life is Hard

In this world we live
Life has always been difficult
We think we have it made in America
But how many Americans are happy
What does it take to satisfy us
When will we have enough
Immorality destroys life
Sin results in complete death
How do we stop chasing our tails
How do Christians take a stand
Start with a look in the mirror
Maybe it is more important
What takes place in the Church
Than in society
May the Lord make us blind
That we may truly see
The consequences of apathy
And why unbelievers are so cynical
Sometimes the world is so cold
And our hearts are even colder
We fight against institutional evil
But the source us within us
Sometimes we give the devil
Too much credit
Where does evil come from
It is the one thing people created
It is a living entity
Much like cancer or a virus
It is a parasite and an enemy
It resides within our will
We need not caste out evil
From the world
We need to caste it out from
The bottom of our hearts
Why do good people do bad things
Why do we never defeat evil
Do we not care enough
Does the world not punish us enough
The human heart deceives even itself
The soul turn dark
And the mind loses focus
How can you be strong enough
To break free
When you know you cannot do it alone
It is this paradox that traps us
In what modern medicine calls addiction
We are so critical of everyone else
We need to more careful with our minds
We need to walk hand and hand with God
When you step forward
You need to do so in faith
When you fight
You must use all your resources
You need to have a broken heart
And breathe in the Holy Spirit
Addiction is driven by desire
We need to stop the beast within
From taking over our lives
We need to make a line in the sand
And not let anything cross
But to do so we need to do the work
We need to fight every battle together
We must be convinced it will stop
When we fall down
We need to get right up again
We need to realize
Our fight will never truly end
Until the Lord returns
Or our hearts fail us
Let God’s Kingdom come now
Let things happen according to His will
Pray that Christ comes back now
That He will reign uncontested
In the desire of our hearts
Fight on
Fight the good fight
Onward Christian soldiers
We have bigger battles
Not for our country or our planet
But for eternity

Different Frontiers

The European obsession with logic and debate
The American obsession with forced smiles and empty confidence
In the tradition of the great entrepreneurs, the Dutch
And co-opted by the British and passed to the Americans
The modern world with international trade
With cheap labor and materials from poor countries
And European based industry and manufacturing
The money only went one way
A time where all were literally dirty
In a country filled with fish and forest
Eerily empty of those who tended its flora and fauna
Once tended by those we wiped out with our armies
Then wiped out the wealth of the land with our big machines
An empire from one ocean to another ocean
An entire continent for one people
A nation of immigrants from every other nation
To a land freed up by genocide
And a country started to avoid paying taxes
By wealthy people belonging to a secret society
Founded on work so hard it beat you down
A time when most people were still farmers
Your insurance was free land you could farm and game
In exchange you and your shotgun were the police
People lined up by the thousand
Everyone from several counties
Under a giant tent crammed full
One sermon and a thousand saved
Then almost 3 world wars later
And a great transfer of power
The factories are destroyed
And the poor people rebel
A new world system is created
Now we need not remember anything
Nothing but our phones
We ask our oracle idol Google
To pray for anything we need
We are moving more and more
To this world of magic
That no one really understands
Everything is free
The only thing businessmen want
Is every little private detail about us
We get millions of songs
For the price of one meal a month
When we need to buy something
We type words and hit a button
These phones are made from parts
Sourced throughout the entire world
Our greatest trading partners are our rival empires
One in a great desert
In which springs up from the sands
The power that runs our society
The other manufacturers tens of millions of phones
As they have billions of people more than us
All on the other side of the world
We are still the ones that do the harder work
And make most of the money off of the trade
We have a giant mercenary army and navy
That enforces this
But this is bankrupting us
A world run by magic energy
A world economy trading magic portals
A world entertained by stories about magic
Maybe an all-powerful God doesn't sound strange enough
Except that He pulled off the greatest trick
He became one of us and defeated death
We live in a society in which we
Elected in both a world economy and world police state
By our own free will
We trade private information for free trinkets
We do anything we can to make money
Participating in fraud and the sex industry
We will do anything to stand out
We are drowning in our own trash
We want to do nothing but play games and be entertained
We never ask questions as to how things happen
We are weirdly concerned that the rich and powerful
To have an extra easy time redistributing our money to them
Who again is the more rational: Society or God?
What is the more advanced society?

No Silver Bullet

Not all problems have a simple solution
Sometimes technology causes more problems than it solves
It is hard to change the world
If we will not really change ourselves
How can we expect our children to be responsible
If we cannot reign in our own desires to match our beliefs
What is the value of peace
Is it worth holding our tongues
Why do we have to agree on everything before we move forward
Why do we feel the need to understand all the mysteries of life before we do what we already know is right
What will it take for us to accept that we are all part of the problem
What are we willing to sacrifice to solve our problems
When will we both as individuals and as a group that at least some our ideologies are the source of the problem
When will we accept that doing what is right is generally not very popular or easy
It may seem politically incorrect to say, but out problems are not al surprising for a society run by peasants who want to live like kings
How do we think our leaders will solve these problems when we know many are criminals
And most of us vote the lesser of two evils
I’m scare for the future of our country because either direction we go in, I am not going to be welcome here
At least I did serve in the military and there still is a lot of guilt people feel because of their cowardice to vote for candidates that voted for the war and were too much of a coward to enlist themselves in the military

What is the Point? (in Studying Philosophy)

Philosophy can be the basis for an entire civilization. Along with literature, art, music, theatre, religion, history and related studies these make up what is called the humanities. This is the basis of high culture across most civilizations, especially traditional and Asian ones.

In philosophy, nothing is a given; every point must be fought for. There is no set definition for philosophy either. Philosophy does not have teams. No one has your back. You must crawl on your stomach, to avoid getting hit by the fallout of unintended consequences.

You don't memorize philosophy or learn how it works. Before you can even have comprehension level understanding you are forced to think and in different ways than you are used to. Most education is a ritual or propaganda. Philosophy gives you the tools to create your own branches of knowledge.

No philosophy is original - Platonism, Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Confucianism are all unoriginal. If philosophy had a beginning, it started at least in 900 BC or before. The good part is if you are considered unimportant in your lifetime, you have a better chance of being significant later on. If you are important after your death, people will care for you many thousands of years later.

Philosophers also have the greatest responsibility of all academics. They don't just follow ethics; they create both ethics and the metaphysics it is based on. Science came out of Aristotle and Enlightenment philosophies and both theology and psychology are a subset of philosophy.

The world only needs a handful of philosophers, at any given time. Philosophy is bad if: you care what other people think of you, you are trying to make money off of it, you are trying to become famous, you need outside motivation to work on a project for years, or you are unwilling to spend many years or even decades on it. You need to be ok with having much more uncertainty in your life.

If you are religious and want to keep your religion, be careful what you study. I would recommended those who want to avoid studying things unacceptable for Christians stay away from study of things that are outside the major world religions and philosophies. I also recommend staying away from paganism, animism, and shamanism. I also would stay away from anything that is done in secret or seems scary. Fear can save you from many bad situations.

Answering your own questions
Is worth a lifetime of study
Digging deeper than a criminal profiler
Stretching farther back then recorded history
Spanning beyond this universe
Smaller than a sub-atomic particle
More life changing than a life lived in the third world
Worth more than the fortune of a billionaire
More dangerous than all religions combined
More powerful than a supermassive black hole
As subtle as the difference between colors to a designer
As flexible as a Shaolin Kung Fu master
As intelligent as a sage
As active as a soldier in war
As brilliant as a perfect diamond
I can only do so much
In one lifetime
If I write about technology
It will be useful for a few years
If I write about philosophy
It will be useful ten thousand years later
Philosophy is worth studying
Because it gives you a life worth living
Because you only have a one life
Even though you will live forever
We do not need more solutions
We do need to ask different questions
We do not need new answers
We need to change the way we think
This will change who we are

The Source of All Knowledge

Everything is but a branch of knowledge
From the Tree of Life
The foundation of this world
And the world to come
Is the Lord my God
With each step we take
As a people and as a person
It gets more obvious
God never goes further
Than the door to our heart
We cannot transcend our own minds
We cannot travel beyond our Savior
He doesn't just provide a net to catch us
The world rests in His hands
Whether the earth is flat or hollow
Hell cannot defeat us
God is more powerful than any problem
God is not limited by any obstacle we face
He pulled off the greatest magic
He came to earth to live like us
He stole the keys to hell
And forever broke the hold
The devil had on our hearts
We have a debt we cannot pay
But God only wants love in return
The powers of evil want to destroy
God wants you to live forever in hope
Destroy every thought of despair
With the living entity and weapon
We simply call the Bible
This sword penetrates our souls
And breaks through confusion
And leaves nothing but wisdom
It transforms the coal into diamonds
If we can stand in the hurricane
That is our future
We need a rock that cannot be turned
We need a fire that cannot be quenched
Pray that your heart will never go cold
That the flame will emit a brilliant light
That comes from the Light of the World
Reflected within who we are
And what we do
We start our journey in the cold of night
Where everything is above our head
Let us break through to the summit
So we can rest a little on the high plateau
That we can again seek the knowledge of the Lord
And give out our last shiny trinkets
That others might merely live
And that we might live forever
Christ is not just a branch
He is the entire tree
He is the cure to the venom
We consume each day
When we do not walk under His will
When we get lost in the dark
Like a flare out of a lonely boat
We launch a prayer for salvation
That we may be brought forth
From a single island
In a sea as big as the universe
He knows our exact coordinates
He know how to get to the root
Of what really causes our problems
There is nothing you can do
That will surprise Him any bit
You may run forever from His Love
Which is true futility
Our entire universe
Is to God a hamster cage
And our attempts to escape without Him
Are like running really fast on the wheel
If God can create something from nothing
And then dive in to save us
What greater saving power
Can He make alive with His words
He can truly heal your heart
Just as His broke
As He died on the cross
Defeating not just Hell but suffering as well

Prince of Peace

I kneel down to pray
I pray for a sign
Expecting a bolt of lightening
I am surprised I see nothing
Meanwhile a storm builds
From the other side of the globe
A desert receives much needed rain
I then see flower after flower appear
Butterflies and lady bugs come out of nowhere
I pray then for rain
God appears to do nothing
Meanwhile we have a record harvest
Because none of the produce spoils this year
I pray that I may receive healing
I am not healed
A cure for cancer appears out of nowhere
Cancer is stamped out forever
I pray that I may simply survive the war
The violence continues
A priest in the middle of a jungle
Gets the entire village to pray for God’s return
The decades long war ends
And the peace holds for decades more
We think artists are creative
We think soldiers are strong
But the power of faith
Combined with the reality of God
Breaks all curses
Destroys all binds
The chains break
The cuffs rust away
People are impressed with acts of power
People are impressed by special effects
God wins our hearts one at a time
By making us blind
And making food come out of nowhere
God is subtle and God is patient
Because He is strong and we are weak
We need to accept a solution
That will solve more than just our problem
We need to think bigger in what we ask for
We want to win a war
God wants to make it impossible to wage war
We want to not be in pain
God wants us to overcome the causes of suffering
It is easy to blow things up
It is hard to build new things
It is easy to write a drama
It is hard to write a comedy

God is Real

Some people believe in God
Because they find Him in the Bible
I find God in the Bible
Because I believe in God
In some circles
People debate endlessly
About which god is real
To me, the answer is simple
The Lord is the real name for God
I know this more surely
Than I know my own name
It is not that I just sometimes
Feel close to God
I have doubted many things
And will continue
Until this world ends for me
But about God being the Christian God
Or the Bible being God's instructions
This is not something I stay awake
Or wake up early wondering about
As surely as I breather in
I can almost see God's face
Before I ever was slightly mentally ill
And even when people doubt I am mentally ill
There is a sense to the universe
That leads many to God
But for me God was always there
I did not need to find God
God was always in me
I can literally feel the Holy Spirit
In my very soul
I have read the original texts
Of all the great world religions
All the most talked about philosophies
I considered them on their own terms
I was open to the possibility
That I may find different words to describe God
But I never thought any other religious text
Was written by God
Sometimes to truly understand someone's point of view
You need to suspend belief in that subject
But my faith in Christ goes deeper than belief
I cannot deny God exists
As it makes no more sense
Than to say I do not exist
I have less assurance in my own thoughts
And in my own feelings
Than I am in the reality of the Christian God
I have a hard time understanding
Why some people have more faith
In themselves than they do in God
I have failed myself and God many times
But He is always there
At times I have been angry at God
Or feel He would never intervene
No matter how hard things were
But there are things in my life
That cannot be rationally explained
Without factoring in divine intervention
None of this was necessary for me to believe
Because we live in a life that seldom makes sense
If you want to be an optimist
Two things are obvious to me now
People are stupid, evil, and have poor impulse control
The only thing that explains why we are still here
Is direct divine intervention
And I still cannot understand how people think
That it makes more sense or is easier
To believe that something comes out of nothing
Than to believe that God created us
We know evil is very real
And we know that most our problems lead back to us
Why do we still believe God is responsible for suffering
What is there to have pride in from what we do
God is the only one truly creative and original
God created me, therefore I am
If we are going to debate God's existence
Doesn't it make more sense to doubt ourselves
I believe in God because I am alive
Everything has a beginning and and end
What comes before and after?
Life is never easy and we will continue to suffer
But a perfectly good God still exists
Look within yourself for blame
This is where I am now

Imagery & Symbolism / Psychology

A Single Door, No More - Part 1

A door to nowhere
A light shining through
The corners and gaps
A very deliberate knock
Steady and full of commitment
A knock with no answer
A journey that never takes place
An option that is not available
A noise that is not annoying
A presence that is not there
Is it worth the cost of losing control
To let the knocking continue
And accept that I may never know
Why this door appears out of nowhere
Or why the knocking stops as soon as is begins
How do I know to answer
If I do not know who knocks
Where will this option lead
And why can I not accept the uncertainty of the journey
Or choose just not to respond for now
Sometimes it seems the door will open on its own
And this is really my one fear
We constantly fight for control
And will accept nothing less
How can we really be the ones choosing our future
When we do not even know what we really want
It is easy to spend all your money
When you go to the mall
And get inspired when you see a movie
But it is when you are really all alone
That you can be sure of anything
Or make any important decision
The thing to remember is that we are never really alone
Everything we do matters and everyone already knows
You cannot lie to yourself
And expect to sleep well at night
You cannot claim credit for what you create
When you know the only true muse is the Holy Spirit
We think as Christians that it does not matter whether there are aliens out there
But we are really the aliens of this world
We cannot accept the popular ideologies
And still call ourselves separate from the world
We cannot still count on our money and our wits
And still call ourselves people of faith
If we pay more attention to how we talk about others
Than we do about who we vote for
Maybe we could hang our heads a little higher
When we meet Jesus face to face

A Single Door, No More - Part 2

What is a door to nowhere
Appearing out of nowhere
A portal to another world
The great outdoors
Don’t leave the door open
To those you don’t know
A door that is unopened
A chance encounter
Ears burning to others conversation
A Christian cannot compromise
On the ten commandments
The images we seek
Are our modern idolatry
Each time we accept a compromise
With how the world works
Just to make things easier
Or even to spread the gospel
We mix hot and cold water
And end up with something
No one wants or can accept
There is a certain poetry
To even the ten commandments
There is a subtle repetition
To the Apostle’s letters
There is hope in prophecy
Even within the judgement
Of our own world empire
There is a sense of imagery
That awakens our senses
And softens the brutal honesty
How can you memorize
What you can barely put into words
What is it like to never die
And how long is forever
As evil seems more real each day
God still softly speaks in our minds
And hope takes unforeseeable forms
Sometimes Scripture even condemns
And even this can bring hope
We need to read again and again
If we are to find God in our world
He never leaves it
But often we answer the wrong knock
On the wrong door

More Doors

A million doors in a row
Each like a bathroom stall
But well ventilated
And perfumed sufficiently
Dancing under the door frames
Looking through each one
Like a portrait of a window
When does a door become a window
When does a way of life
Become an answer to a question
But when I close my eyes
I never see the doors
The direction of the doors
Continue to rotate counterclockwise
A I ponder each choice I have made
I may consider bowing this one out
A temporary exemption from decisions
But this is not life
There are no insignificant actions
Or inconsequential thoughts
Thought is transformed into action
As quickly as we open our front door
Each morning we head out
When does our purpose
Determine our ethical choices
When does God become the Lord of our life
We submit to our fears and the laws
But when do submit to the will of God
We constantly listen to music
And it is very real to us
Why do we have such a hard time
Believing in God
Or following the whispers of the Holy Spirit
You would think that evil would scare us
And doing the wrong thing
A painful consequence in and of itself
It is not that God is being let down
When we make poor choices
it is just that we add unnecessary pain
When we do what we do not want to do
Do we ever consider the sources of our problems
Tends to be our own black hearts
How can you speak good
While listening to darkness
When we get old we remember how to read
And we learn a few things from this
As each decade passes
But do we ever learn wisdom
From any book alone
If only the crystal clear sound of modern music
Would echo in our mind
With the pulsating rhythm of our Creator
And that being part of his family
Would be sufficient to make us happy

Secret Words

Locks can break
Doors have seams
Deadbolts are no failsafe
Nothing is entirely secure
Things are often secured
By putting smaller things in bigger things
For every self defense move
There is a counter move
An arms race is by definition two sided
There is never a permanent solution
When fixing problems is too hard
And doing bad things is too easy
Maybe it is time to redo the entire system
At some point you have to replace a machine
No matter how well you maintain it
Everything has limits
Societies do not last forever
Even the Earth and our entire universe will end
Sometimes bad decisions hurt other people
Some things are entirely out of our control
Do not be famous
And you can avoid the worst possibilities
The best protection is having nothing worth protecting
The best way to protect secrets is to not have any secrets
One level of protection might be enough
But three or four is much better
Expect everything to fail all at once
If it can break, plan on it happening
At the worst possible time
The best way to adapt is to constantly learn
If you practice daily
You will get better as the criminals get better
Pray to God continually
And always realize there is always someone smarter, faster, richer, and the like than you
You will only be perfectly safe in Heaven
Never depend on someone else to solve your problems
Businesses are too cheap to do their jobs properly

Eyes Everywhere

Some people only feel safe in a police station
To some fear is a kind of drug
I try to avoid being paranoid
As this is a painful system of my mental illness
I remember constantly being afraid in the army
It was very tiring and painful
Everyday I awake
I learn of more people watching each other
Everyone wants to know what their neighbor does
Why do you think consumers buy drones
Most companies don’t care if you buy something
Or even if you see their ads
What they really want to know is
What are your bathroom habits
And what is in your bedroom drawers
They want to know everything you do
Even where you are in your house
They follow you around the neighborhood
And keep track of everything you buy anywhere
They want your face, voice, and fingerprints
What is so valuable about this information
For legitimate purposes
Ads and crime are merging more and more
As government and business already have
What will happen when companies
Have to administrate punishments
Why is everyone watching everyone
Nobody trust anyone anymore
It is just easier to make money through fraud
Then through honest means
Just like it is easier to fight a war
When you don’t have to serve on the front lines

Winter Sunrise

I open the door
And the night is still upon us
The stars are especially bright
And the sky is black as oil
The entire moon is fully visible
And hangs too low in the sky
The sky is turning navy blue
Fading in color to the best shade of blue
The air has a bite to it
And the cold works its way into my bones
Some of my best memories
Are in the cold and dark
Walking through bushes at scout summer camp
To get to the bathrooms
Getting on the bus to go to a speech tournament
And listening to Depeche Mode
Staying up all night at a Model UN conference
My first time with no sleep for 72 hours
A field trip to Portland
For a political club I started
A cheerleading Christmas party
I was the secret Santa for the one I later asked out
The night of my high school graduation
Not walking home until the next morning
The long walk home with rifle ready
From basic training field training exercises
My one time at a strip club
With friends while in Army training
The Valentine’s Day (Night) I arrived in Hawaii for my assigned unit
We went to a Navy beach the next day
The biggest church on Honolulu
We went out for a kind of young adults group date
I walked across town
Because I thought I had missed the last bus
Walking home from Linux club meeting
A few months before my diagnosis
And walking back from a music concert
I volunteered at in town, in the rain
Many times walking home from movies
Like at the local avant grade theater

When I am weak, You are strong

Dribbles of chocolate
Many drops of honey
The tongue has a mind of its own
Our tastes are too much for us
Sometimes extreme is too much
And vanilla ice cream taste much better
How do I find my way back
When I am lost in countless tunnels
I cannot escape the incense
The siren calls like a drill sergeant
That which seems good and true
Can be nothing but a soul trap
Why do our minds wander
Even when we read scripture
Each step gets harder
Two step forward and one back
It is like a difficult dance move
And I cannot even count to 8
It is hard to do a counter move
When you have no rhythm
Each move of the game
Is driven too often by dice
If you cannot understand no
And overextend yourself
Your back gets sore
And your muscles cramp
How do we move forward
When we are paralyzed with fear
The fear that captivates our imagination
The fear that completes the sentence
Weak words and profound actions
How to I get back
To a new page and blank stare
Where chanting breaks into melody
And the beat breaks its own rhythm
What is the key to salvation
When we are deep in dreaming
Break dancing seems out of place
For a kind of martial art
But stranger things make sense
When you can never really relax
How can you feel safe alone
When you cannot trust your own mind
Unsuccessfully killing time is dangerous
When you cannot stop counting cards
But so is losing control in your dreams
And waking without inspiration
Everything is worth pursuing
Until these things start pursuing you
Strength is usually relative
And the right way is often covered in fog
Each step of writing is worth repeating
Only when there is no other way
Emotions are always tricky
When you are out of your mind

Maybe a Screw is Loose

Time is not eternal
But now is forever
In each shift in light
Our digital future is uncertain
Sunrise to annoying alarm
I laugh in my soul
I cry in my heart
Sometimes things are so clear
Other times light and dark
All blur together
Be always alert
We are all under the watchful eye
Better than a wandering eye
Rolling off the bed
A loud cracking sound
My head always hurts
When I try to think
In each step off the bed
I stumble less every day
Is sleep better in darkness
Is silence better than laughter
Why can’t that buzzing stop
Pops all around
I flip over in place
I switch my position
Like a politician
In each step I grow bigger
Now I have giant feet
I pull the fleece over my eyes
As learn how to escape the nightmares
With glee and stubborn determination
I awake to the sunset
Where did the day go?
Chasing darkness all my life
I can only stand so much light
Laughter burns in my ears
I can barely stand
If my life depended on it
How do I sort through my fears
How do I open the door
My keys are lost in my wallet
I listen to the grass grow
And watch the paint peel off the wall
Sometimes time disappears
The clock breaks all the time
Sometimes the pain is too great
To break the beat of the drums
Exercise can be painful
Only when you are there
For the wrong reasons
I make it across the yard
Dodging toy soldiers and silly string
I cannot stop the silence
When will it be gone
They all say go home boy
All in unison
A choir motivated by fear
A really great conductor
That can’t stop talking
And the music just sounds louder now
I can dance on my toes
But only when you scratch my belly
It just seems weird
When I cannot hear the sound of my voice
Over the incessant mowing of the lawn
It is like a constant war
I just cannot find my jungle boots
I put my pants on
As I go through one belt and another
I forgot to take a shower
What is deodorant for
I am now stuck to the glue
Spilled all over my coach
Stop playing with paper airplanes
Until the paint dries
I take a turn at breakfast
Until I drop eggs on the stove
The fumes are hard to take
I play a song for children
And cannot stop the music
The most terrifying thing
Is how loud the color of red was
We mix and match cheeses
As the plate turns in circles
I point forward to the future
The only future I can see
Is building a fort in the living room
We need to invest in defense somehow
Its not like the ants will ever stop
Their loud rock music
Besides the neighbors will rejoice
Until the ants become really smart
Why are there so many holes in my wall
If I have such are hard time being heard
I can barely see out my windows
Maybe they are painted shut
If only I could sell the painting
Off the front of my door

Bible and God / Religion

One and Many

My weapon is singular
My defenses many
I only wish to defeat my own desires
The best weapon is the Bible
I seek defenses from everything
Threats are everywhere
Misfortune, decisions, other people
Sartre says Hell is other people
Camus says futility is Heaven
As the world becomes increasingly absurd
Sometimes your best move
Is to be more creative in your responses
If only hand grenades were really just pineapples
And knives were only used for preparing food
It seems that fear now takes many forms
It seems peace only comes from One Source
We suffer from many bad decisions
Ours and others
But we can be delivered
With just one decision
We make not only one time
But also throughout our one lifetime
We can gain perspective
Through reading, reflecting, and experiences
But perspective does not make it hurt less
The ends never justify the means
But also it is not enough to mean well
Every decision has spiritual consequences
Our bad choices hurt others
Putting your self first is an illusion
We are creations, not creators
We serve either God or money
We are not the ones in control
We are only pawns for the devil
But God wants to crown us
With eternal life
There are no other lives for us
But the life after death never ends
All will receive judgment
Luckily mercy over rules justice
Unlike in human society
God is not here to judge us
He is here to liberate us
God understands us
Because God is also Mind, Body, and Soul
Except He is greater than any problems

On Deciding

What do you really want
A life of extremes
An all or nothing existence
Where there is no happy middle
What do you really want
Do you want a life free from pain
Be unimportant and boring
Do you want to not have to fight
Just to survive life
Moderation in everything
This is the key
Pace yourself as in a run
Take each day as it comes
This is not a present day moderation
Where moderation is only one addiction
This is a moderation in style of the mystics
Avoiding both pain and luxury
Which would today
Make you appear as a monk
Buddhism looks severe
But it is called the middle path
Because it is a life of moderation
Serve God or serve your addiction
If you are going to serve anyway
Serve in a way that is productive
Serve in a way that is you
Serve like it is your only job
Live your life like it is your only one
Even though you will live forever
It does not matter what the world thinks of you
It really matters what God thinks of you
It is not that we will ever earn eternity
The point is to accept reality
That we always need help
We need to be humble enough
To not live our life only for ourselves
Or only on our own
If you are going to suffer anyway
Why not accept God’s help
We do not get points for what we do
We are here to improve who we are
God does not promise no pain in this life
God does promise eternity without pain
He created us and so knows us
Unlike anyone else
God has lived a life full of suffering
As one of us among us
There is no instruction manual to life
But we have access to our Creator
Why try to reverse engineer life
Why try to make sense of existence
With improper documentation
We cannot even give good instructions
To the simple things we make
How can we claim to fix the human mind
When we cannot even control ours
Even human solutions have rules
You will never avoid the ten commandments
We must have at least thousands of laws
Even Buddhism has hundreds
You will never get past serving others
Even the world police state
Does not have absolute control
Nether does the world economy
Control all that is bought and sold
Every creation from the smallest to the largest
From within an atom to the biggest galaxies
Even black holes and quantum mechanics
Have predictability and constant behavior
Only the human creation find it demeaning
To follow even the kindest of leaders
Or even how God lived when on earth
Our lives were never our own
We get to choose everything now
But we never get to be happy
Just by paying someone or earning something
Happiness only comes from changing who we are
And we only change who we are
By changing what we do
We cannot say one thing and do another
We cannot really believe if we fail to act
Is there enough evidence to convict you
Of following the laws of God
You do not really believe
If you do not change who you are
Consider every decision in your life
As always important spiritually
How you life your life is important
Because you will never really die
You are important
Because God fights for you
Accept His help
And you never need to live alone

Time and Morality

Continuity across time
Stretching back thousands of years
Maybe a million before
Advanced in different ways
Or like our current science fiction
Great thinkers argue with history
Prophets predict history creatively
We only had the Bible for a few thousand years
But our God has never not existed
Most of history people did not deny God
To most people the spiritual world is real
In each generation we have different problems
But most these involve sex and money
We live in a time of great evil
Most great traditions are in agreement
Can we do more than chant God’s name
As the Eastern Orthodox church does
Or do something as great as pray
Which every Christian should
We need to see past our own lives
To see what is really going on
We want to watch every detail of what happens
What do we think of being watched by others
We think we have free reign over the world
Do we even have free reign over our own minds
We only see our problems skin deep
The solution is not in our minds but Gods
All it takes is steady faith in what we ask for
All it takes is to ask for something legitimate
We are busy traversing the entirety of the planet
And ask everything to our idols in silicon valley
We learn about everything under the sun
But only get useful answers to insignificant things
Even when we think of doing something of value
We miss the point of life
We think we can get beyond cause and effect
Or redesign our own minds
We will never get greater technology
Without greater cost
Why is it that we dive ahead with science
Without question or disagreement
But cannot decide if ethics are even important
We seem to think the only things that matter
Can be done with computers better than we can do
Maybe we will just outsource our own lives
If everyone writes poetry but we cannot read
Who is going to read it
The only things we can agree on
Is we want freedom to follow our idols
In Hollywood and the race tracks
How about freedom to do what is right
We think we can transcend our lifetimes
Through science and technology
Except that we poorly understand even these
Science is like magic in many ways
We have little understanding of either
It is ironic that God made people blind
So that they can see better
And healed people while doing something even greater
Because only God can forgive immorality
Even the greatest sage could not earn eternity
Even the smartest person cannot learn how to live forever
Generations grow and fade away
And this may go on for a million more years
Maybe when we are poor enough
We won’t be able to afford more wars
Why are we so creative legally
And so stupid and limited in problem-solving
We can argue why we should get our way
But cannot find a way to stop the wars
It is hard to trust God when we cannot trust others
Except that He has both earned and deserves our trust

Thank God for Christianity

I wish I never stopped running
I wish I never stopped reading the Bible
I wish I would have prayed before every decision
I wish I never would have sinned
I am thankful God will never leave me
I am thankful He always watches over me
i am thankful He holds the world in His hands
I am thankful He prevents so much suffering
Buddhism says that suffering comes from desire
And the path to fix this involves following hundreds of rules
I am glad that for God mercy takes precedence over justice
I am glad that the path to salvation is only one step
It is not that Christianity is ever easy
But no religion or lifetime has before or will ever
The words of God provide answers and support
To help get us through life's tragedies and boredom
It seems as if the world is crashing down
Or nothing is happening
But as we build patience and faith
Through our life experiences
Life spins like a top
But when it stops what do you do
There is no instruction book to being human
There is no set of steps to follow to make your life easy
You will be stabbed in the back
After giving years of good service
You will be given the greatest gift
Just when you never thought it would happening
You will work hard every day of your life
And fight the good fight faithfully
You will get sick and walk slower
You will want to give up time and time again
Sometimes God will literally carry you
When you would have to walk over coals without Him
There is a Russian proverb that says
Anything that does not kill you makes you stronger
Christianity is not about being strong
It is about admitting you are weak
The victory has already been one
Long before we were even born
But there sure are many more battles to fight
Each day of our lives
Sometimes we battle things we cannot see
Sometimes we battle things that only we can see
Sometimes we battle against reason
Sometimes we battle against our feelings
We just need to remember to ask God to fight in our defense
The only weapon we have to use is the word of God
Spending time with God is spiritual warfare
It is not through subduing our passions
That we will achieve victory
But through humbling our spirits
And submitting our body and life
To He who created all that exists, could exist, or He can imagine
We are not promised that we will be free from persecution
But we are promised paradise forever after we die
It is worth it to make it to a city
Where gems and gold are used for street stones
And there is never any pain, thirst, disease, or hunger
Where everyone will get along
Even the wolves and the sheep will see each other as a family
Where we will never cry again except for joy
Ten thousand years will be a day
Nothing ever born will ever really die
You cannot escape death
But you can escape eternal spiritual death
Sometimes it is enough
To simply praise God and thank Him
Even when we do not known what to pray
The answer to suffering is not a simple sentence
All creation, the Bible, Christ, and eternal life are all much better answers
We look to the Bible for rules
And it gives us history of God's people
We look to the Bible for punishments
And get stories of real people
We look to the Bible for a deal with God
And we are given God on earth
Aim higher than the greatest philosophers
Look to that which cannot be contained by the entire universe
But still looks like us and lived in the way we do
We live as if on a stage
In full view of all creation
So let us look past the limits of the modern world
And into the eyes of Jesus Christ
Life may signify nothing
But through God all things are possible
He can even defeat your ego
If you really want Him too
We all give up sometimes
God never does and never will

A Kind of Understanding

I can easily wrap my mind around
The hard things about religion
I can understand why we have to follow laws
I can understand why we suffer
It is no wonder that fame and fortune are fleeting
That morality is more important than wealth
That we struggle in vain for so much
Which we cannot bring with us after death
The struggle to do what is right
The temptation to follow half measures
Religion as created by people has wisdom in it
But this kind of religion also brings division
This kind of religion is the source of many wars
It is not hard to accept that we will be judged
It is not hard to accept that we deserve punishment
We can see clearly the results of our own immorality
We can see clearly that the spiritual world is real
That intention is what matters spiritually
Whereas in the physical world action matters
We can explain the world through cause and effect
We can trace all suffering to our selfishness
Not all people know the literal definition of sin
But all really understand why it is so bad
The evil of the world is very real
And the utter corruption of our own hearts
Requires no imagination to accept
Reality is brutal in the natural world
But it is many times worse in the world of humanity
We can see the innocence of animals
And that God is not responsible for anything bad
The hard things to understand
Is what is worth saving in our souls
God is completely rational in all His actions
With a perfectly balanced blend of emotions
So why does He decide to be so merciful
Why does He truly care
Can you give any good reason for Him to suffer
For Him to bail us out and take our place
The one good source of news today is prophecy
Only the Bible really gives encouraging news today
With each step as a person
He struggled from birth into a cold, heartless world
He followed every law and made no mistakes
He had no lapse in judgement
He then preached a message so revolutionary
That no one can go beyond Him in message
We just cannot accept how bad things became
We cannot accept we are really in over our heads
We are literally creating Hell on earth
We willingly and enthusiastically enslaves ourselves
In creating a brutal New World Order
Where business and police are one and the same
But God broke the power of death and evil
We see war after war in every dimension of life
But the real war has already been one
The End Times only has one battle
Who is this God who created us knowing what we would do
Then submit Himself infinitely below His existence
Just to suffer for eternity for our sake
To be mocked for centuries and be misunderstood
By most of His followers and enemies alike
We are just too stupid to see the truth
We see all the pieces but cannot put the puzzle together
We need to fundamentally change the way we think
The most important thing in life is God
The biggest goal we can have
Is to love God and His creations
We think that we run the world
Or give that credit to the devil
Hollywood understands Scripture
In a way the Church does not
We hear song after song and see movie after movie
Where romantic love is what brings purpose to life
The only problem with this is this is the wrong kind of love
And it is the wrong individual and relationship
Every love song is written for God
All our good creations are authored by God
If only God can make us blind to the world
And only able to see His face
He is perfectly recognizable to us
As we were designed to be like Him
Body, Mind, and Soul
Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit
He is already in many of our hearts
Why can we still see anything else

God and People

From ever to ever
God stretches out through time
Like we stretch out in the morning
He fills the universe
Like we fill an exploding soda bottle
God is not just all powerful and all good
He is an artist and a poet
We blow our minds trying to link together Scripture
That God radically simplified to put in our languages
We fight war after war to enjoy a palace for half our lives
God created a perfect city that we can live in forever for free
We try to understand prophecy to predict the future
God spoke that to give us hope for the future
We see Scripture as a set of beloved quotations
But the word of God is a spiritual entity
More powerful than the greatest powers in every reality
We draw pictures of animals and landscapes
God created the animals and landscape out of clay
We dance and eat when we celebrate
God’s celebration is the creation of an entire universe
Each day we face the same challenges
God suffers forever for the defeat of our egos
We can barely make it through each day
God sees past ten thousand years in the blink of an eye
We struggle to remember the names of our coworkers
God knows exactly how many atoms make up each person
When we fight, we use a heavy metal equipment weighing thousands of pounds
God whispers and His enemies shake in fear
We think we our powerful because we have nuclear weapons
God perfectly balanced the laws of physics so gravity works
Fire and flight are only possible on a few planets
But Christ is worshipped across the entire universe
We think God needs us for company
But He is perfectly complete in His at least tri-part nature
We think we are smart because we can travel to the moon
God has no need to go anywhere as He is bigger than every reality
We think we are humble if we fast for thirty days
God coming to earth was a bigger drop than for us to live as micro-organisms
We can barely control ourselves enough to run a society
God has an intellect that is perfectly in harmony with His emotions
We barely take care of our families
God has created us, bails us out, suffers forever for stupid things we do, and made paradise for us
Our greatest civilizations can be reduced down to a list of rules
The Bible has never been even barely understood by the brightest minds even though it uses much simpler language
Our greatest minds invented computers and the Internet
God created the laws of the universe we use, all the materials we use, gave us all the mental capacity to do so, and the wisdom to solve the problems we created with it
When we want to fix something, we take years to make complex laws
God fixes things by telling creation to do something
We have the responsibility and authority over all animals
Only because God gave this to us
We hold God responsible for evil
The one thing we created by ourselves is evil
We may be afraid when reading Revelations in America
In Africa, Revelations is the best and most hopeful book (of the Bible)

More Poetry

Seeing and Doing

Selfish is the mirror
When we cannot see past it
Selfish are the legs
When we cannot move past what we see
When the obstacles are many
And the options few
Everyday we become more blind
And there is less to write
There is less to see
As more and more dies
There is an end to our story
But can it be a happy one
The day has come
For us to rejoice in boredom
And focus on what we are doing
Having enough to eat
Is like finding a good paying job
Having time for fun is only necessary for the laborer
For those with means
Or ample funding
Creation is its own reward
As joy appears at the beginning of each page
A job is essential to eat
A purpose is a way of life

Why I Don’t Watch Science Fiction Anymore

Political refugees fight evil doctors who gave girl Schizophrenia
While transporting things for for evil people and barely escaping with their lives
The original vampires constantly torturing members of their own family
And compelling people and other vampires to do their bidding
Earth taken over by giant cockroaches
That tried to turn the kids into ones as well
A world where electricity is all gone
Cruel dictator after cruel dictator commit increasingly evil genocides against the populations
A future world where we colonize asteroid belt and mars
And first alien life used to turn kids into monsters
A future paradise for the rich run by corporations that lets regular people fend for themselves
Poor women sell themselves as consorts who managers can do anything to relieve stress
Kids sent to back to earth to see if it is inhabitable
People constantly in pain fighting for the last patch of green
A alien race conquering earth
The representative looks like a stereotypical devil
People constantly try to stop apocalypse but never succeed
Realize that evil person who unleashed this plague is their son
A modern day pagan version of CS Lewis’s Narnia
Where they start to have interesting adventures until another horrible tragedy sets them back

Book 2


Where We are Headed

When we think of the modern world, we think things are better now then they have ever been and will always get better. Christianity is often considered part of the modern world because of the strong connection between wealthy northern European and American Protestants.

The modern world really didn’t begin until after the French Enlightenment. Napoleon was the first real atheist leader and it wasn’t until about that time that people would be considered sane even if they didn’t believe in God.

The modern world has more advanced technology than it did in Medieval Europe, but there has been more destruction and suffering in the last few centuries than ever before. This is the only time (and only in Europe and parts of America) that atheism has been socially acceptable and widespread. Most of the world today as in the past consists of poor religious people.

The white Christian is becoming extinct, but Christianity has grown more in the last 100 years than ever before both geographically and numerically. It is not surprising because during much of the medieval period, the Middle East had the biggest population of Christians and Europe did not convert entirely to Christianity until the Renaissance.

The center of Christianity is now in Africa, where both Judaism and Christianity are traditionally African. The Ethiopians (who are definitely sub-Saharan Black Africans) practiced Judaism and then Christianity from the time of King Solomon. Throughout much of the world today it is common to see poor Christians being persecuted by rich Muslims.

America is not special except for population density, geographic isolation, and abundance of natural resources like fresh water. Much of the wealth of America comes from the Native Americans taking cut good care of the environment. Most of the founding fathers were deists or likely closet atheists and most the ideas talked about in the constitution are pagan in origin. The philosophy behind it is also from atheist philosophy.

Our current environmental charities have been extremely disappointing in their actual impact. The sad thing is even though most people say they care about the environment today, there is actually much more pollution now than when people didn’t care about the environment. Since no one seems to even care about their grand kids generation or any of nature of animals (God’s creation), the motivation for environmental responsibility needs to be tied directly to its financial cost to this generation.

The real underlying problem is that even Christians try to solve our problems through war, violence, surveillance, intelligence, prison, and other criminal type behavior on the part of governments. We need to see the world as primarily spiritual and the source of our problems is our own personal decisions and behavior in our public and private lives. Prayer, taking care of those in need, and overcoming immorality is actually a better and more effective way to solve all our problems than violence.

What do communism, democracy, capitalism, imperialism, and fascism have in common? They are all human solutions. Instead of building fancier military equipment, spending more on surveillance, making the police more violent, giving corporations government money, and outsourcing the entire government, we should follow the example of Christ.

Jesus Christ would likely put in a detention center or not allowed in the country today. Christ was effectively homeless, He was from the Middle East, His ideas might sound New Age to many Christians, He was a challenge to the religious establishment, He was not powerful or rich, He was not violent, and He did not promote many conservative values.

Today we look for a hero to challenge the power that be to free us from a very bad future. The reality is that we are creating that future by making bad choices as individuals, the powers that be are actually not a significant as they or we think they are or should be, and the real way to save us is to get forgiveness for our own evil doing.

Many Christians would be shocked to know that America is not mentioned in the Bible except maybe the evil world government or a place to hide out away from the evil world government. When things get really bad for us in the world and even in America, this does not mean God is coming back.

God never promised America anything, especially not modern plumbing, electricity, oil or the world system all these things are the foundation of. If the world system both police state and world economy breaks, there is no fallback, we go back to the stone age for the next thousand years or more.

The reality is that at this point most of the world population outside North America will die off in the next 50-100 years. The rest of humanity will form in Canada and Alaska and maybe Scandinavia or Siberia will be inhabitable but much warmer after enough people die off.

The thing that will break the whole system is the economic cost of global warming. Hurricanes hitting New York every year, El Nino every year, expansion of tropical insects and diseases into the United States, drying up of rivers, cults and criminals will run the “government” and many other seen and unforeseen ramifications of living in this modern world.

For good news, it will all come via prayer and be in the form spiritual things. Christianity will come back to America, we will find unity again, we will survive, and people will be just as happy or more as they are now. You will just need to use an outhouse and there will be no Internet.

Just How Cynical?

As far back as my childhood memories
The uncertainty only snowballs
I live in a city next to another city
Do the ones outside this county even exist
Our country’s leaders are at each others throats
They try to convince us it has to be their way
They might be able to trade favors
But the little people want blood
Too many years and too many lies
I love America but our leaders don’t
My generation is mad at what our parents did
The sad part is we are only making it worse
Why are those at the frontlines of our wars
The soldiers, the poor, and the animals
Constantly the victims and have no voice
It is not right that the few must suffer for the many
Torture, pollution, and animal testing
Are as wrong as murder, stealing, and sexual immorality
Why can we so easily decide we want a war
But cannot agree that stealing personal information is bad
You can steal someone’s wallet and serve time in prison
But gamble away a million people’s savings
And get elected to congress
If you lie to the FBI, you go serve time
If the FBI lies to you, they don’t even apologize
When congress shuts down the government
Why don’t they cut the government leaders salaries
When they cut social programs
They should also cut war budgets
When we have money to pay corporations charity
We have enough money to provide for the poor
We think our young people are entitled
But most the money goes to tanks and old people
If every other country in the world hates you
Maybe you are doing something wrong
When you vote in a one world government
Maybe you need to live in the third world
When everyone can argue any point they want
And find good reasons for conspiracy theories
How can you be so sure of your opinions
How can you know you are on the right side
When the rich and powerful feel persecuted
Maybe we have found something that works
If no one has the money to buy your products
Even the rich and powerful become poor
The poor are addicted to gambling
The rich are addicted to the stock market
The poor shop at convenience stores
The rich shop at real estate auctions
When you cannot decide what to cut
You cut everything equally
When you are in congress
You cut out the stuff for the poor
The only thing we can agree on
Is to make life more difficult for the mentally ill
The only thing we know for certain
Is our leaders are not the smart or moral ones
When the poor and sick call out to God
Does He make them fill out forms and wait
When the government helps someone
A corporation wants even more money
When there are bands of roaming poor
Do you lock them up in prison
When there are poor in your community
Do you just ship them off to other cities
What is it worth to live morally
Would you spend 10% more
To provide jobs for the third world
Or 50% more to provide a job for yourself

Fixing this Country


Tongue in cheek play on words with political imagery making fun of the absurdity of contemporary politicians and ideology in America.

When the popular narrative is nonsense, make nonsense of nonsense and it starts to make sense.

It is politics as usual with all the lack of brain, heart, or soul (on both sides).

Unwillingness or Inability to Learn / No Brain

irrationality, recklessness, stubbornness, foolishness, incompetence, unbelievability, lack of relevant experience or any qualifications, lacking any policy opinions, unwillingness to plan ahead, inability to get along with others, ignorance, lack of common sense, short sightedness, knee jerk reactions, oversimplification, poor understanding of human nature, fairytale driven worldview, fail to grasp cause and effect

Narcissism / No Heart

easily angered, full of personal attacks, unapologetic, insulting peoples intelligence, loud and obnoxious demeanor, expensive lifestyles, lack of class and manners, hostility to reason and education, manipulative / additive / sociopathic personality traits, propaganda, mind games

Moral Compromise / No Soul

illegal behavior, fascism, imperialism, elitism, dishonesty, deception, immorality, hedonism, greed, lust, cruelty, deviance, arrogance, bullying, fraud, hypocrisy, lack of shame, persecution complex


moral and national security compromise, improvisation of facts, anti human rights, globally unstable policies, lack of respect for God and His creation

If I were in charged
I would be an adult
If I cannot have a career
I would have to find a purpose
When your goal is small
And your talent great
Forget about intelligence
You don’t need to learn anything
When preparing for a speech
I often whistle or chant
Before meeting new people
I jump on a trampoline
If you want to make a difference
Start by making a buck
If you want to be memorable
Do something stupid
When no one is qualified
Everyone is qualified
Spending time networking
Is more fun than going to strip clubs
If you do not know the answer
Answer in the form of a question
When you make a flat statement
Be sure your bank can cash it
I found the solution to the Internet
Why is everyone laughing
Is the name of a country funny
Or do I need to get elected first
If I can dodge all your answers
Will you leave me with a question
If I am a nice suitor
Will you introduce me to your sponsor
If we cannot stop fighting
Lets all join hands
If we cannot find the words
Lets not get lost in the Middle East
Who wants to find a ballot box
They camoflauge them for a reason
I wish I could be president
But then I would have to grow up
As the famous saying disappears
Whom was I speaking to
When I subtract all the clues
All I get is numbers
There is nothing wrong with somethings
A purpose has an ending
When I lose my place
I end up being 2nd in line
Does it really matter
If the speech is long enough
I just don’t want to fall asleep
Until they check under my bed
Why remember names
When you can Photoshop your email
Why learn new things
When you can Google yourself
Step into the secret stadium
And close your eyes to the anthem
Look longingly at the football
Then pretend it doesn’t exist
Why do I need to know my age
When I can set up a sun dial
Why do people ask for my sign
I just advertised yesterday
For purple questions
Undercut 5%
When you want to increase
Spend your only budget
How do you spell America
Is is the same
What am I called
Have you learned your lesson
Fear is smelling like leather
Tan is an alarming color
Why do chairs have to be comfortable
How are you sitting so close
When there is too much oxygen
Egos can’t stop echoing
Trust is so hard to lose
Why bother chasing it away
If I sound like I am repeating
Escort me to the bathroom
If I cannot end a sentence
Put in an air freshner
I am not my brotherhood
We all grew like trees
Thorns are cool
Roses smell

Calm Down Now

  1. Changing views of violence and the violence of the one world police state
  2. Nature of what is real and how we determine what is true (epistemology in philosophy)
  3. Uncertainty in modern world (like Camus and Chuang Tzu),
  4. the idea that democracy/imperialism is as unimplementable and unworkable as communism/socialism and is in the process of unwinding
  5. Description of how a police state works
  6. The real exceptionalism like ideas that make America more friendly to critics
  7. Argument that the traditional apologetics (defense of the Gospel) is unnecessary and the best apologetics is believers following the Gospel
  8. Biggest obstacle to evangelism (converting people to your religion) is internal to the Church and solveable
  9. The Bible is read now in Spanish because the future of the Evangelical church in America is Spanish speaking due to current and projected demographic trends
As a kid, we played with toy soldiers
When we were young, we collected pocket knives
Today those are considered weapons
Now some are afraid of all boys and men
Violence obviously doesn’t solve things
Stalking and bullying doesn’t either
But some people still think wars do
Some people also think prisons work
Maybe we just need a break from reality
The day to day living that wears us out
Maybe a vacation in our own homes
A vacation from all our electronic devices
Reality is what you make of it
Reality is what you want it to be
No it is really just what the powers that be say
You can find it on any website
Truth may be stranger than fiction
But often truth is a matter of perspective
And fiction sometimes more true than fact
If only someone was honest and cared
A philosopher seeks truth
A religion provides truth
A prophet fights for truth
The critic knows no truth
We are so ready to fight and die
Maybe because life is so hard
If we were more critical of ourselves
We could admit we are sometimes wrong
Maybe admission of fallibility
Is what religion and society need most
We need to be willing to take it back
When others get offended
We need to be humble enough to be kind
We need to apologize when we are wrong
And restore things we destroy
It is easy to create problems and harder to solve them
How is it that our perspective
Is the only one we believe
How can truth be universal
When no one can agree on anything
How can we stop fighting
And find common ground
If we cannot be quiet enough
To hear the other person’s speech
We are so trained in debate techniques
And so sure of ourselves
There is no room for growth
And no ability to learn new things
It is hard to teach someone
Who already know everything
The more you learn
The more you realize how little you know
But when you do know something is true
Live like your life depended on it
When you know you heard God
You need to act on it right away
People spend so much effort
Trying to convince someone of their way
Who is going to say
You shown me to be a fool
So I will believe anything you say
And then believe the same for over a day
Everyone wants to convince you of something
Usually parting with your money
But people are creative with scams
Some people make money off of free things
The real scam is that nothing costs anything
The real scam is not stealing your identity
The real scam is stealing your soul
Do you ever wonder why only Americans
Get the freedom to express themselves
It is because they never do
And if they did, no one would care
The world is just on giant business
The world is just one big computer
One day we will realize that we are not in control
We serve our technology and those that make it
Do you really understand how computers work
If you did you would know true fear
People talk about companies being compromised
But everything is already hacked into, monitored, seen
But the bigger security threat is not computer crime
It is not even that the criminals and the police share information
Or have the same techniques and goals
It is that we are so compromised, we no longer care
It isn’t that we weren’t aware of this all along
And we could have made it harder for them
But we just are too busy to care
We are too focused on ourselves
If God made a convincing sign for us
That no one could dispute
Who would believe even Him
And who would claim to follow Him
You cannot charge for propaganda
You cannot win hearts and minds
When people know you are lying
Even if you can prove it
If there ever was some way to be sure of anything
There no longer is
This is why I believe in the Christian God alone
The Bible is probably the one thing not compromised
The reason the Bible is not compromised is
Because no one reads anymore
And know one know the Bible well enough
To notice the difference
There have been many translations of the Bible in the last 10 years
But so few people know and many only trust the King James
This was written in the time of Shakespeare and is alike in readability
And most Christians are probably reading Spanish translations by now anyway


A Weak Heart

At the speed of the worlds fastest sprinter
In the twinkle of a distant star
Up and down like the feet of a cross country runner
Like the jostle of packages in an old delivery van
With the attention span of newborn puppy
Like the heart beat of a dying man
We feel nothing more than a child does
And our words rarely go beyond mad, sad, and happy
How can we describe what we cannot pin down
How can be hope to treat what we cannot prove
Each sentence an essayist writes
Can only capture what can be put into words
If we cannot speak or comprehend
The voices in another’s mind
How can we hope to lessen another’s pain
Or share in their boundless joy
Like a stuffed toy listening and pondering in silence
We need to have the patience of a monk
And the strength of will necessary for proper meditation
Like the burst of the big bang
We feel wave after wave of fear
Like a giant whirlpool
Our joy runs down the drain
When we hurt, sometimes it just doesn’t stop
Even when we cry out to God
We can spend countless hours in counseling
Even every day
Sometimes the joy just rushes out of us
Like a firefighter rushing away to a fire
Sometimes we hurt so much
All we can do is cry
When you are both terrified and hopeless
There is a little a therapist can do
As that is not the way the medicines work
They can put you down in an instant
But resolving loneliness and emptiness
Is a lifetime struggle
Sometimes the self help books
Are at once too much and too little
Sometimes our problems just don’t fit into any system
Some philosophers have thought of this situation
And that is why I read philosophy
Sometimes the patient must heal himself
When you don’t know what to pray
And you are really stuck in shifting sands
Do the seeming unexpected
Thank God for His help
We plan ahead way too much
For all the wrong things
We need to let things be
After we have done all we can
Time may heal all wounds
But when it hurts so much
How do you have patience
Sometimes you have no choice
Being stuck in pain and fear
And knowing it will continue
And there is no way out of it
That is the definition of true terror
There are some choices
You cannot come back from
Sometimes being too aware
Can paralyze you
Sometimes in one split second
Eternity can pass multiple times
When you have no power or choice
You know you have joined the military
When you see no joy in your future
Maybe you can provide joy for others

Wonder Psychology

  1. One of the titles or names of the Christian God is “Wonderful Counselor”.
  2. I believe that Paul is the first existentialist and the inspiration for modern psychology originally comes from the Bible.
Who is this Counselor
Who has a perfect blend of emotions
Who has no personal issues
That carries no baggage
Who can guarantee His integrity
And is recommended by His greatest critics
His practice is older than mankind
The most stable Mind
And the biggest Heart
But Who has the greatest case of emotional trauma
Yet the most kind and forgiving
Your information is protected better than with properly prepared encryption
His voice is His password
Which no one knows or can generate
Who helps me fall asleep
Without medication or meditation
Who knows what bad and good I have done
Who you can always call at any time
He has no waiting room
No waiting for appointments or in line
You are always His most urgent case
No need for computer or phone
Without chat or teleconferencing
You will always get a Real Person in Person
Even in the middle of combat or on Mars
You can have a six hour session
In the blink of an eye
No need to explain anything
Qualified for diagnosing and treating anything
Perfect knowledge of all brain activity
He always knew the brain constantly evolves
Who can alter your brain chemistry
As precisely as a brain surgeon
No side effects or conflicts in medications ever
No medications to remember to take
His diagnosis is always correct
He is not limited by any laws
But created the laws in the first place
He is always honest, direct, and polite
It is impossible for Him to ever lie to you
He can articulate better than a speech therapist
He can understand even speech from fantasy novels
With the most difficult to understand speech impediment
He will never ask you to repeat anything
He can understand any language
He can interpret any dream instantly
He can treat you when you do not know what to ask for
When you cannot even describe the pain
Anywhere the pain comes from for any reason
He is also the best surgeon and specialist in every field
You need not communicate with Him at all
And He already knows your feedback
And had already implemented all your suggestions
Before you even met Him
He is on every corner
And always at your door
All you have to do is whisper
One of His known names
Your fees have already been paid

Northwest Steam Punk

  1. Steampunk is a contemporary kind of science fiction.
  2. It is often dark, violent, and apocalyptic as well as being futuristic merged with classical (19th century) elements and very stylized and highly detailed props, costume, and location.
  3. I am substituting elements of the props, costume, and location to make it less violent and dark and end up with a contemporary stereotypical hiker in the Pacific Northwest.
The spontaneity of perfectly executed Kungfu
The romantic beauty of the American south
Fields of opium as far as how eye can see
To the rhythm of the spinning wheels of a classic car
With mask over mask, gas and ballroom
Sporting the highest quality suit made of silk
Boots meticulously polished all night
Blood dripping from the finest sword
What is it that makes something romantic
How is tragedy something to sing about
When the lyrics are so sad
It doesn’t matter whose voice carries the tune
Why is it always rainy nights
And while the fog is low and dense
Mystery and magic appear uninvited
The best backdrop for bright light is darkness
Fantasies full of pain and sorrow
Stealing, murder, and sexual morality
Who writes these things
Is depressing supposed to be trending
What if we could substitute martial arts for dance
And a drum stick for a sword
Isn’t a temperate forest in Canada a more pleasant location
And growing timber a kinder way to make money
Wouldn’t running shoes be more comfortable than boots
Wouldn’t is be healthier to walk instead of driving
A waterproof jacket would keep you warmer than a suit
Instead of a metal mask, growing a beard would be softer
The plot is mixed up
And the theme thickens
As we spin up a new cast
And bake in happier endings
When writing a book makes you hungry
Maybe you really want to be a chef
When watching a movie makes you want to cry
Maybe you prefer to participate in a charity
Not every movie is fun to watch
And not every book worth the price you paid
But eventually people stop buying
When you no longer provide entertainment
A convincing story is all in the details
An adventure rests on its believability
If you cannot stick to the facts
Stop illustrating comics


No Worries

  1. We are fighting a spiritual war between ourselves and God (or between our spiritual and physical bodies), not between God and the devil.
  2. Your mind is the battleground and you are your own enemy.
  3. The Apostle (St.) Paul says that he does what he does not want to do and this is the definition of sin and also the modern definition of addiction.
  4. The poem also uses Chinese war strategies concepts to explain how to fight an unconventional enemy, in this case - yourself.
  5. The solution is to surrender your heart, mind, and soul unconditionally to God.
  6. This is the solution because the one thing people did “create” was suffering.I only have one life to live
But I also know I will live forever
My time on earth is a small portion
Of my everlasting lifetime
I bet everything on this truth
That Jesus Christ is God
I do not doubt because faith is a choice
It is not something to prove
But Someone to follow
The hard part of faith
Is not the existence of God
But continuing to run the race before us
While all creatures watch
The war is won by God already
But that does not make the battles
Any easier to fight
We struggle against more than evil
We struggle against our own black hearts
Evil forces have been completely defeated
But not the evil within us
Our minds and our hearts are battlefields
Just like a special forces soldier
We need to understand the enemy
And not underestimate him
We need to use his power against him
Like in martial arts
And launch attacks by surprise
And aided by deception
Do the opposite of what comes natural
You cannot fully deceive your own mind
Without the help of the Christian God
You must make the choices yourself
But God will have your back
The best way to fight your evil side
Is to surrender to a bigger Ally
Joining forces with God
Is like an ant asking a Whale for help
He is beyond our world
But He is also very close
He is really big and strong
But He is not a threat to us
Even though we are weak and tiny
Life is the process of faith
Not its outcome
We live in empty vessels of clay
But we live in a larger fish bowl
There is more to life than anyone can see
The secret is out
Truth is stranger than fiction
Intention is everything spiritually
Pain is everything physically
When our world shakes to its core
We know He is beside us
This is not merely an abstract idea
This is not just symbolic or cliche
Faith means nothing without a living God
Faith is real because God intervenes constantly
He breathes in hope, faith, and love
Into our hearts, minds, and souls
When you kneel before God
You surrender everything unconditionally
But God is never our enemy
Even when we fight against Him and His people
Humble yourself before God
And He will strengthen and empower you
God wants you to surrender to Him
Because He will not compel you to do anything
He wants you to choose Him as your leader
Because people destroy everything they touch
Life is too painful to live
Without knowing that suffering will end
Within a relatively short period of time
Faith gives us hope of a better existence
When we cannot hurt each other anymore
Where peace is the language
And the goal is being truly happy
Do not rest in peace
Fight on and then live forever in joy
By the power of the One Real God
No one sends you to Hell
It is just the default option
Hell is the same as the underworld
It is very real
It is described as a pile of burning trash
Maybe it is just the earth a few hundred years later
There is no purpose to life without Christ
There is nothing worth pursuing besides salvation
There are many mysteries to life but
The only real question in life is why does God forgive
The one task we have to do in this life is to
Work out our faith with fear and trembling

A Paper Cut

  1. Books are the source of truth for us and for countries as well.
  2. The Bible is described as a two edged sword that can symbolically cut through our lies to reveal the truth
  3. We are followers, not leaders. You either serve God or money. There is no in between or non-committed option.
  4. People use suffering as an excuse not to believe in God. I say that this argument gets you no where like turning down pain medicine so you can file a lawsuit on the doctor.
  5. God gives his example of how a person would live by actually living as a person on earth while still being God. This “physical” aspect of God is often referred to a Jesus Christ.
  6. The Ten Commandments were chiseled into stones but God will symbolically “write them on our hearts”, which is a good metaphor for an intuitive understanding of right and wrong that comes from a conscience.
  7. There is a Christian version everything and even “Christian businesses” but what is really Christian is following the example of Christ, who was close to what we now would call homeless. His main message was to ask forgiveness of God for our immorality so that we may life forever. He was not popular with the religious establishment of His time and in no way did He pursue any kind of leadership or really any organization at all.
  8. I have in here the idea that Earth is like a trial period we experience as a way of a comparison so that Heaven is more appreciated. It is like an initiation, probational period, or internship where you work in a more humble fashion and when you compare that to later on, you appreciate the privileges of your future position much more. You aways train beyond and make the test harder than what you actually need so the training you actually need becomes second nature. Advanced training should always reinforce the fundamentals of your field of study. If you can make it on Earth, Heaven will be really easy.
Sometimes evil appears good
And good appears evil
That is good enough reason to pray for wisdom
That is the goal of a lifetime of learning
Why is civilization contained in words
Why are all the classics contained in books
Why is it that Christians don’t use magic
And why does the devil quote scripture
Can someone die from a paper cut
Can words be more powerful than the supernatural
Why is the Bible so powerful
Why don’t Quakers put crosses on their churches
Why does the army want no heroes
Why was God a servant and not a leader
Why does an atheist have more to prove
Than a believer in the one God
Leadership is not a reward
And serving can bring real joy
Winning the wars on earth
Distracts us from the wars in the heavens
We think we understand how to fight the war
When we do not even know what the war is about
Can you continue to fight important battles
After the enemy has unconditionally surrendered
The war is one by surrender
And the battles fought for your own mind
When the adversary is your own will
And the source of evil is you
Just like you can hear better without distractions
So you can see light better in the dark
You can understand God better
When you are alone and open to His ideas
The clearer your hear His voice
The quieter the other voices will be
The more you focus on Him
The less the world can hurt you
The more you follow His instructions
The less you will cause yourself pain
There is a way to everything
There is a time for everything
Every verse connects to some other verse
And the mind is part of a greater system
You were designed to exist in God
Separation from God is to not exist
You think living with God is painful
You don’t want to try it without Him
Just because you are mad at God
You will not suffer any less
You cannot understand God
Through human systems of thinking
And you cannot use human methods
To do God’s will on earth
Just because the word Christian
Is plastered all over your work
Does not make it any more Christian
Than putting a cross in a mosque
We need to stop trying to be compatible with the Bible
And try to be a mystery to the world
We need to stop trying to have our own way in the world
And choose God in the quiet places of our minds
We chase our tails in Church reformation
But we ignore the fundamentals of our faith
The fundamentals of Christianity are faith, hope, and love
They are the only things still relevant in Heaven
Anything else you cultivate will die with this world
There is nothing else worth living for
In any belief system there is a code of morality
Written down by a wise person
In Christianity, the belief system is written down within us
And the code of morality is the life of Christ on earth
If you cannot see how what you are doing is like Christ
Or you are popular on earth
Maybe you need to search for what Christ did
And flee from the disease of pride
If you cannot understand the Gospels
Then read the Letters of Paul
If you cannot understand the Old Testament
Read the Prophets and the Psalms
If you are trying to create something with money
Or convince people to build something great
Was anyone in the New Testament rich
And was anyone in the New Testament popular
We think it is hard to follow Christ in America
Imagine how it must be in the Middle East
We think life is depressing in the US
Maybe we should visit Africa
If we didn’t have earth to compare it to
We probably wouldn’t appreciate Heaven
If we don’t battle evil in our own minds
We won’t be very popular in Heaven

Seeing Red

  1. This poem is highly symbolic with the ideas of fire, blood, the color red, and writing/the Bible as repeated symbols. These are all symbols of Christianity.
  2. The Bible is a “two edged sword”.
  3. Christians are “tried by fire” and tested morally.
  4. The words of Christ in some Bibles are in red letters.
  5. God speaks from a “burning bush” and a bright cloud.
  6. Christmas metaphors and link to Easter. Christ is born on Christmas and rises from the dead on Easter Sunday. The color red stands for suffering and for the forgiveness of our sins. We are figuratively “washed in his blood”.
  7. And Christ is further compared to a perfect baby sheep that is both a follower like people and real sheep, is perfectly innocent (unlike people), and comes from the Jewish Passover where the Ancient Israelites put the blood on their doors for the angel of death to pass over them or spare them when the Ancient Egyptians were receiving curses for holding God’s people. Easter is the fulfillment of Passover for Christians and Christ’s death on the cross is like the lambs blood put over the door.
  8. The sky is God’s “paint set” as the sky as “Heaven” is associated with God and various birds are associated with the Holy Spirit, recent death, and the eagle specifically for America.
The ink is blood red
The ink is on fire
As the pen turns, the blood spurts
As the pen bleeds, the pages burn
Dance pen, dance
Why do you bleed all over
Spin pages, spin
Why do you smell of soot
Like a slithering snake
The blood ink dribbles down
Like a mouth watering
At the smell of fresh cut pine
Burning as bright as an old Christmas tree
The dangling shiny balls
With those little people trapped inside
All caged in broken gold glass
The Christmas story is as bloody
As the turkey without a head
We eat ham at both Christmas and Easter
Christians use the color red for a reason
The winter sunset glows light red
And the clouds dance across the sky
Making signs with our imaginations
How the sky reflects our minds
Pitch black inky skies
Are smeared across the heavens
A sunset colored rainbow
Pink to orange to red to purple to blue to black
Each color mixing day and night
Bleeding across the atmosphere
Satellites catch the light
Beaming back ones and zeroes
The moon is cut in half
Does it hurt
Where is the blood
In the sunset
A sharp nose dive
The bald eagle races downward
Increasing at an increasing rate
A near miss with the ground
The funeral is composed
With a feather pen
Made from the eagle’s wings
If only the death would end the bleeding
Red letters roll off the tongue
Red memories of God
He who speaks from the fire
Whose blood speaks louder than a rock concert
Iron sharpens iron
The Bible speaks for itself
Just don’t be afraid to get cut
And bleed over its pages
The Bible is a sword, so to speak
But there is no handle
To protect your hands from the blade
Or your heart from judgement
Let Gods words burn in your heart
Like a living flame burning a tattoo
Words not symbols
And of blood, not ink
To avoid smearing the words on the paper
Be sure to wash the blood off first
The lambskin will work great
Just don’t touch your eyes when your tears fall

Don’t Stop

  1. Most people live at home playing games and listening to music on the Internet and never go out.
  2. When they do go out, they smoke marijuana and listen to music.
  3. This is part of our culture in America.
  4. People need to get up and work to solve their problems.
Don’t let the beat stop
Don’t let the music fade
Let me hear nothing
But the sirens voice
The outside world is no more
The words are so sad
The streets are empty
Everyone is inside their own house
This life lies in the rhythm
Of these sheltered worlds
The wealth of the world
In one tiny little box
Music reaches its web outward
The confidence of this generation
The heart of the biggest corporation
The closest any of us has to a soul
Emptiness, emptiness, emptiness
A cold hard world
With only one heart beating
Even our blood runs cold
From the kindest Christians
To the most ruthless task masters
These angelic voices conquer entire worlds
These are the prophets of our time
To a society who has rejected God
And is afraid to fall asleep at night
Who won’t even talk about religion
And rushes to the nearest green cross
How is it that alcohol has a competitor
You see one on every corner
And the stench is powerful on the streets
The aroma of dog with bad gas
Everyone stumbling around
Out of their minds
Blank stares and empty souls
Shouting obscenities and laughing randomly
Full grown adults
Bragging of serving time
Trying to get children back
And scheduling court dates
Where are all the real men
In their man caves
Their parent’s basement
Gaming for a living
A society dominated by pastimes
What are we killing time for
Do we expect God
To drop solutions from the sky
Jobs don’t grow on trees
And money does not appear out of nowhere
Upon what name do you call
When you really need help
When have medicine and drugs
Become the same thing
When have advertising and fraud
Become the same thing
Stumble out of your beds
And stand on the street corners
You have not paid your bills
And you are no longer welcome
Why don’t we ever learn
Addiction is not the solution
It just makes the problems worse
And makes it harder to live cheap
When you are your own worst enemy
How can you expect outside help will come
If you cannot sleep or feel anything
Without the aid of intoxicants
The fix is going to be real sudden and painful
Let our kids remember the pain
To expect to live in constant happiness
Is the promise of fraudsters and false religions
You think you save money by fraud
Everyone else already beat you to it
Maybe you need to develop more productive habits
Maybe you need to trade your bad habits
For motivation to work and learn
The only way out of the debt pit
Just put in your headphones
And ignore the warning signs
Maybe it is already too late
But you can’t just drop out of life

Book 3

Art Theory / Poetry

Define Spiritual

What is left when you close your eyes
What is it in you that really matters
Who you really are is your spirit
Out identities are primarily spiritual
Spirit is where decisions and pain meet
Spirit is in all the choices we make
We are spiritual beings
We are created by God
The breathe of God creates spirit
The Holy Ghost is God's Spirit
Your spirit is what you think, feel, and believe
From your spirit you know what is good and evil
Your spirit is the one in control
If God's spirit is within you
He resides in you heart, mind, and soul
Mind is what you think, heart is how you feel, and soul is what you believe
Spirit is how we know who God is
Spirit is the recognition of who we are and who God is
Spirit is sentience or self awareness
Spirit is what gives life meaning and purpose
Spirit is your will and is defined by your choices
You create who you are by the choices you make

Real Dreams

We seek a banquet and music
For a celebration of good news
But better is the one
Who celebrates by providing his bounty for others
We travel the world to understand life
But greater is the one who understands himself
Instead of finding an adventure in tragedy and danger
Find joy in common life experiences
It is human and wise to fear suffering and persecution
It is also human but not so wise to fear living a boring life
There is a sense of lacking when we are really young
As we grow older, so does our confidence
We first seek after our ambitions
Which we define as bigger, better, and faster
Later we seek only to be satisfied with what we already have
We collect things in our youth
And buy them for family as we age
We give away things to strangers as we grow yet older
When we are near the end of this life, we write our wills
It is seen as a measure of our legacy what we have earned and accomplished
When I die, I care little what people think
And see no need for others to remember me
We continually struggle to achieve and influence others at the beginning of our lives
Later we understand how weak and ineffectual we are
We are then satisfied by even small victories
We think that it is our responsibility to save the world in our youth
As we age, we accept that we can only do our best
We are raised thinking we can do anything
When we get out on our own, we learn how hard it is to just survive
When we age still more, we are satisfied when we can do simple things like still walk

Spiritual Beauty

We see beauty as exemplified by human skin
We see beauty as evidenced by a brilliant mind
Why don't we see the kind of beauty admired by the Creator of these organs
When we see beauty in nature, this is the cue we should follow to honor the Creator's art
But what is really beautiful is spiritual
The spiritual world is the bigger more important world we all live in
And our physical one a tiny less significant subset
Spiritual beauty is about beauty in actions and beauty in attitude
Spiritual beauty is about who we are in the present eternal moment
Christ is the best example of spiritual beauty
Spiritual beauty is attainable and real even in the midst of so much evil and suffering
Just like a campfire is easier to find in a clear night without the city lights
Following our conscience makes us shine brightly enough so others can follow on
If you really want to start a revolution that will really fix the world today
Change the one thing you can - your own body, mind, and spirit
Christ values the spiritual because it is the only thing that lasts forever
And it is those things that are only physical are the things that bring us suffering

Creation of Living Things

Life is the greatest art
It is the direct creation of God
It is His most complex creation
But it can only by made by God directly
Life can then create others things
Living things can create their own future by the act of their wills
Eternal life is even greater
Heaven is the ultimate work of art
Compared to everything else in Heaven, gold and precious jewels are worth nothing
Heaven is like a perfect garden tended to by God
Living in Heaven is the opposite of suffering
Heaven is about full reconciliation with God family and His Church
Heaven is completely spiritual in its essence
In Heaven, nothing ever dies or even decays
Being a created living being is like being planted as a seed in the ground
Then you become a beautiful flower after death
Just like the water ritual of baptism where we die to evil and suffering and our own will
Then we are born back into God’s family as we are raised back again out of the water
Being spiritual is all about choice
The essence of the spirit it the will
The will is what makes a living creation sentient and self aware
It is the part that makes life more than a very advanced machine and allows it to make independent choices
It is the will that becomes spiritually ugly when we turn against God
And the loss of its complete independence is the cost of eternal life
The real beauty of creation is that we were always designed to live symbiotically with the Creator within us
He came into this world He created to bring us back to Him so that we might suffer no more
In the process, He lived a spiritually beautiful life
Transcending our understanding of what is important in life
Showing us how to resist evil and prevent unnecessary suffering
Teaching us what living spiritually and in constant connection with God is all about
Most importantly, He defeated evil and suffering by doing the completely unexpected
He died physically in great pain in place of us
He then defeated death and rose again and ascended back to create Heaven for us all
His life is the perfect illustration or teaching of how to live a spiritually beautiful life

Spontaneous Love

Love is one of the most beautiful of emotions
But there is more to love than just romance
Love is the greatest of the virtues
The Bible talks about unconditional love
One of the really unique and beautiful things about Christianity is forgiveness
This makes Christianity a game changer
Both extremely simple to explain and very difficult to practice
Christianity bases ethics on forgiveness because God hates arrogance
If you were God, would anything impress you from what you see people do
By its very nature, mathematically anything compared to infinity is zero
There is a long list of attributes you can find in the Bible that exemplify love
But love is simply defined in the Bible as the motivation for Christ to descend to earth and then even hell
Many people think that it is weak to be kind and generous
But if God did not intervene, we would exist forever just in darkness and despair
Soon earth may be much like hell, as it is compared to burning trash
Burning trash is truly ugly and sickening
God really believes in freedom and equality at all costs
This transcends any attempt of America to trash talk other nations about its superiority
The American soldier is a kind of Christ like figure
The analogy holds because the Army wants you weak, not heroic
Just like in Christianity, it has a unique ethical philosophy
The Army values two things: instant obedience without question and 150% effort
Life in the Army is never easy and never lets up
You are married to the Army in that you are never really off duty
The example of Christ baffles non-Christians because Christ is the ultimate anti-hero
It is a belief system and revolutionary movement that encourages you to submit to everyone
It is like launching a war by unconditionally surrendering to your enemy before the first battle
It works this way because your enemy is you
Christians often give the devil too much credit
Sin comes from our rebellion against God's will and rule in our lives
Just like the Army is hard for everyone, just not intellectually
Christianity is hard because it requires us to sacrifice our pride
If Christianity had a flag, it would be white signaling surrender
If Christianity had one symbol, it would be a blank sheet of paper
Life is suffering but God has broken its power over us and created a perfect life for us forever

Church Art

Like a living gothic fantasy straight out of the medieval period of history
The agony set in the stone of the cathedral walls
The blood of Jesus Christ burns through the chains of pain and death
Like a prisoner's feet being slowly roasted over hot coals
Although He never did anything wrong, Christ endured a brutal death
He even entered the underworld and stole the keys from Hades
The greatest anti-hero then ascended to Heaven to retake His throne
After God raised Himself from the graveyard
From Almighty God to enslaved non-citizen back to God in His full glory
He returned in triumph to His throne to finish building Heaven for us
While we started building His church on earth and help it take its place in history
He is the basis for any beauty or joy we still find in this life
Unlike the plagues of the ancient world that were started for our punishment
We now are creating our own hellish trash fire which flows directly from our greed and arrogance
Rebellion against God and our responsibility to shepherd His creation is ugly and sad
He then breaks through the stone of our self-made prisons
Shining down through the brilliant colors capturing His life and ministry among us
His miracles and faith did more than just feed the hungry and heal the sick
He led a spiritual movement that has outlasted the agricultural, industrial, and information revolutions
Growing stronger and more numerous each generation through 3 major technology revolutions
My country now lives in spiritual poverty as the world loves Christ more than ever before
But this generation does not listen to its parents who had nothing to say about Christ
Our country is now accepting the supernatural in the form of national myths and for artistic expression
We are nearing the end of the world as we know it, but it is not really the end of the world entirely
While we see every major institution transformed or made irrelevant religion is more important than ever before
God's work in the world has lasted for thousands of years and we raise our glasses to ten thousand more

Still Life Crosses

A heavy cross with a smaller one on each side
A cross of rusted iron with a giant nail representing Christ
An cross with an ancient ornamental design on plain wood
A heavily weathered and dense wooden cross draped with a royal robe
A smooth black cross with golden letters
Seven crosses total making a complete eclectic set
A look of respect and sorrow
An intent gaze of curiosity
These are the kind of toys you do not play with
The other toys are quiet but happy
To them this is a type of holy place
What does worship look like for a stuffed toy
To the greatest Baby Sheep that ever lived and still does
The cross is sometimes scary and extreme when the lights are off
But all in all a better feeling for the shelf and the entire room
Animals all know and respect the Creator by name and voice
It is never necessary to explain God to His better creations
And every other thing that exhibits having a spirit
Whether or not it meets the scientific requirements for being alive
Praying that it will always be dusted carefully and continually
The ultimate symbol of strength and masculinity

Bible Quotes

Beauty Equals Ethics

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. -- Peter 3:3-4
How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth! --Isaiah 52:7
For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. --Isaiah 53:2
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. --Isaiah 61:3
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. --Matthew 23:27

God's Mercy Lasts Forever

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. --Psalm 51:1 Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me. --Psalm 66:20
For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. --Psalm 86:5
For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell. --Psalm 86:13
Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake. --Psalm 115:1
Deal with thy servant according unto thy mercy, and teach me thy statutes. --Psalm 119:64
The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy. --Psalm 119:124
Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: --Proverbs 3:3
By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil. --Proverbs 16:6
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. --Proverbs 28:13
In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer. --Isaiah 54:8
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee. --Isaiah 54:10
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. --Isaiah 55:7
And I will sow her unto me in the earth; and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy; and I will say to them which were not my people, Thou art my people; and they shall say, Thou art my God. --Hosea 2:23
Therefore turn thou to thy God: keep mercy and judgment and wait on thy God continually. --Hosea 12:6
Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy. --Micah 7:18
But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. --Matthew 9:13
Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; --Titus 3:5
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. --Hebrews 4:6
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. --James 3:17
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, --1 Peter 1:3
Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. --2 John 1:3

Our Response: The Opposite of Selfishness

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; --Romans 12:10
We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me. --Romans 15:1-3
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you. --1 Corinthians 9:19-23
Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth. --1 Corinthians 10:24
Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved. --1 Corinthians 10:33
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, --1 Corinthians 13:4
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; --1 Corinthians 13:5