Fear and Society: Benjamin-Newton.com and Cloudy.diamonds


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Few people understand fear
Few people experience fear
Outside the occasional dream
Or Halloween season movie
Fear gives you energy at first
But over time it tires you to the core
The medicine is very tiring
But adrenaline can be too
What prepared me best for Schizophrenia
Was my military experience
I was constantly tired
And I never got enough sleep
I was constantly terrified
And I felt close to God
The military is a hard life
So much is expected out of you
And the penalties are so enormous
But the people are the best
An army base is the most depressing
Place in the world to live
But they are filled with churches
Schizophrenia's symptoms are much like an addiction
Schizophrenia often shares a person with other disorders
The same people often suffer from depression, anxiety,
obsessive compulsive disorder, trouble sleeping, and tremors
Fixation is one big part of Schizophrenia
Like a person with autism
One of the common fixations is religion
Religion should be important to us all
But there is a kind of special connection we have to God
All jumbled up and confused but still very real
God always seems closer when you need Him most
And social thinking often makes God less real to many people
With each year, I feel more awake
The disease has progressed little in 20 years for me
I think I understand better all the time
Why people react the way they do
When you do different things
It is like being a hunter gatherer
Meeting modern society
I understand feelings and spiritual things
But some of the subtlety to how people talk
Is hard for me to pick up on quick or naturally
And I learn all the time
How to be more gentle, careful, and responsible
Ironically, I may be specially suited to life after
The End of The World As We Know It
No one trusts anyone anymore
Everybody is starting to believe in conspiracy theories
They do not know how to be sure of anything
They realize that life is not rational
They are getting ready for surviving scams and disasters
They are becoming closer to those they share view with
They are forming networks and using non-traditional communications
They are saying less and becoming more reserved
They are becoming more sarcastic and cynical
This is the best time in history to be mentally ill
Maybe we will even be some sort of trusted advisors

Cloudy.diamonds by Ben Huot

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