Does it Scare You?: and

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Does it scare you
To know I am mentally ill
It scares me being mentally ill
When your mind is gone
You don’t think less
When you cannot direct your thoughts
And you cannot understand the actions of others
It is like being an outsider in the truest sense
How can a person live in a society trusting no one
How can a person find purpose
When others blame them for society’s evil
How can a person find love when they are too different
It is easy to accept a person who has only cosmetic differences
As in someone of a different skin color
It is easy to accept a person whose only difference is
Who they call on when they struggle with life
It is in the mind that our civilization exists
And when this is lost
How does a person act like a person
Who are we apart from our place in society
You do not fully exist
Unless you have an environment to live in
You can only feel accepted
When you can trust your own feelings
It is not a situation that can be solved
Creativity only stretches so far
And only some specific social conventions can be shunned
In the depths of everyone’s mind
Lies the possibility for us to forget
Who we should be
Even when we still know who we are
We are no different in heart and spirit
And often we only look slightly different
But our minds are in a constant whirlwind of strange ideas
And the world is very different
Than life before the break
They say life changes everything
But mental illness changes you
Not everyone else
An outsider to every joke
Where misunderstandings are routine
You continue to self talk or just ignore your crazy ideas
It is only in your sleep
That you feel normal and safe
How can you accept who you are
When you never feel full
And never feel rested
Why do the same things bother you
When you know better
Why can’t you decide what you want to be afraid of
Other minorities feel empowered after counseling
But you never do
The only reason you are not locked up still
Is because it saves them money by Ben Huot

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