Funny Christmas List: Cloudy.diamonds

Cloudy.diamonds

This website is Cloudy.diamonds by Ben Huot

General Directions

  • Nothing Sharp
  • Nothing Flammable

Basics

  • Duct Tape
  • Tinfoil
  • Emergency Supply of Freeze Dried Dinners
  • Gas Powered Electrical Generator
  • Bug Out Bag

Research

  • Comic Books
  • Sci Fi Novels
  • SAS Survival Guide
  • Religious Texts
  • Newly Declassified Information
  • Martial Arts and Close Combat Manuals
  • Youtube Conspiracy Videos

Strategy

  • Bulletin Board
  • String
  • Highlighter
  • Sticky Notes
  • Lazer Pointer
  • Stock Photos (Royalty Free) and Clipart

Fire Security

  • Fire Safe
  • Surge Protectors
  • Firefighter Fireproof Tent
  • Fire Extinguisher

People Security

  • Inkpad and Fingerprint Duster
  • Humane Live Animal Trap
  • Pet Tarantula
  • Sound Proof Room
  • Paper Shredder

Other Security

  • Waterproof Dry Box
  • Glow Sticks
  • Giant Flashlight

Health

  • Respirator
  • Pills to Treat Exposure to Nuclear Radiation
  • Air Purifier
  • Water Purifier
  • Hand Sanitizer
  • Mosquito Net

Sleep

  • White Noise Machine
  • Yoga Mat
  • Incense Burner
  • Meditation CDs
  • Chemical Hand Warmers
  • Antacids
  • Saline Eye Drops

Technology

  • Drone
  • Professional Camera
  • Binoculars
  • Listening Devices
  • Microscope
  • Metal Detector
  • Encrypted USB Flash Drive
  • Gold DVDrs
  • Uninterrupted Power Supply
  • Night Vision Gear
  • Infrared Goggles

Documents

  • “When to Cut the Cord” Form
  • Last Will and Testament
  • $100 Religious Doctorate

Clothing

  • Crown
  • Dark Sunglasses
  • Paper Mask
  • Non-Latex Gloves
  • Cape
  • Commando Camouflage for Sharpshooters
  • Pick Pocket Proof Pants
  • Boots with Steel Toes

Fun

  • Area 51 Collectibles
  • Worst Case Scenario Board Game
  • Grappling Hook
  • Parkour Training (moving over obstacles like a cat burglar)

International

  • Passport Photo
  • Safety Deposit Boxes in Switzerland
  • Arial Map of Middle East and Home Town
  • Ancient Egyptian Language Learning Software

Financial

  • Foreign Coins
  • Gold Bars
  • Precious Jewels