Complete Psychological Topics 3
by Ben Huot
August 5, 2019
First Things
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Poetry
Set 1
A Single Door, No More - Part 1
A door to nowhere
A light shining through
The corners and gaps
A very deliberate knock
Steady and full of commitment
A knock with no answer
A journey that never takes place
An option that is not available
A noise that is not annoying
A presence that is not there
Is it worth the cost of losing control
To let the knocking continue
And accept that I may never know
Why this door appears out of nowhere
Or why the knocking stops as soon as is begins
How do I know to answer
If I do not know who knocks
Where will this option lead
And why can I not accept the uncertainty of the journey
Or choose just not to respond for now
Sometimes it seems the door will open on its own
And this is really my one fear
We constantly fight for control
And will accept nothing less
How can we really be the ones choosing our future
When we do not even know what we really want
It is easy to spend all your money
When you go to the mall
And get inspired when you see a movie
But it is when you are really all alone
That you can be sure of anything
Or make any important decision
The thing to remember is that we are never really alone
Everything we do matters and everyone already knows
You cannot lie to yourself
And expect to sleep well at night
You cannot claim credit for what you create
When you know the only true muse is the Holy Spirit
We think as Christians that it does not matter whether there are aliens out there
But we are really the aliens of this world
We cannot accept the popular ideologies
And still call ourselves separate from the world
We cannot still count on our money and our wits
And still call ourselves people of faith
If we pay more attention to how we talk about others
Than we do about who we vote for
Maybe we could hang our heads a little higher
When we meet Jesus face to face
A Single Door, No More - Part 2
What is a door to nowhere
Appearing out of nowhere
A portal to another world
The great outdoors
Don’t leave the door open
To those you don’t know
A door that is unopened
A chance encounter
Ears burning to others conversation
A Christian cannot compromise
On the ten commandments
The images we seek
Are our modern idolatry
Each time we accept a compromise
With how the world works
Just to make things easier
Or even to spread the gospel
We mix hot and cold water
And end up with something
No one wants or can accept
There is a certain poetry
To even the ten commandments
There is a subtle repetition
To the Apostle’s letters
There is hope in prophecy
Even within the judgement
Of our own world empire
There is a sense of imagery
That awakens our senses
And softens the brutal honesty
How can you memorize
What you can barely put into words
What is it like to never die
And how long is forever
As evil seems more real each day
God still softly speaks in our minds
And hope takes unforeseeable forms
Sometimes Scripture even condemns
And even this can bring hope
We need to read again and again
If we are to find God in our world
He never leaves it
But often we answer the wrong knock
On the wrong door
More Doors
A million doors in a row
Each like a bathroom stall
But well ventilated
And perfumed sufficiently
Dancing under the door frames
Looking through each one
Like a portrait of a window
When does a door become a window
When does a way of life
Become an answer to a question
But when I close my eyes
I never see the doors
The direction of the doors
Continue to rotate counterclockwise
A I ponder each choice I have made
I may consider bowing this one out
A temporary exemption from decisions
But this is not life
There are no insignificant actions
Or inconsequential thoughts
Thought is transformed into action
As quickly as we open our front door
Each morning we head out
When does our purpose
Determine our ethical choices
When does God become the Lord of our life
We submit to our fears and the laws
But when do submit to the will of God
We constantly listen to music
And it is very real to us
Why do we have such a hard time
Believing in God
Or following the whispers of the Holy Spirit
You would think that evil would scare us
And doing the wrong thing
A painful consequence in and of itself
It is not that God is being let down
When we make poor choices
it is just that we add unnecessary pain
When we do what we do not want to do
Do we ever consider the sources of our problems
Tends to be our own black hearts
How can you speak good
While listening to darkness
When we get old we remember how to read
And we learn a few things from this
As each decade passes
But do we ever learn wisdom
From any book alone
If only the crystal clear sound of modern music
Would echo in our mind
With the pulsating rhythm of our Creator
And that being part of his family
Would be sufficient to make us happy
Secret Words
Locks can break
Doors have seams
Deadbolts are no failsafe
Nothing is entirely secure
Things are often secured
By putting smaller things in bigger things
For every self defense move
There is a counter move
An arms race is by definition two sided
There is never a permanent solution
When fixing problems is too hard
And doing bad things is too easy
Maybe it is time to redo the entire system
At some point you have to replace a machine
No matter how well you maintain it
Everything has limits
Societies do not last forever
Even the Earth and our entire universe will end
Sometimes bad decisions hurt other people
Some things are entirely out of our control
Do not be famous
And you can avoid the worst possibilities
The best protection is having nothing worth protecting
The best way to protect secrets is to not have any secrets
One level of protection might be enough
But three or four is much better
Expect everything to fail all at once
If it can break, plan on it happening
At the worst possible time
The best way to adapt is to constantly learn
If you practice daily
You will get better as the criminals get better
Pray to God continually
And always realize there is always someone smarter, faster, richer, and the like than you
You will only be perfectly safe in Heaven
Never depend on someone else to solve your problems
Businesses are too cheap to do their jobs properly
Eyes Everywhere
Some people only feel safe in a police station
To some fear is a kind of drug
I try to avoid being paranoid
As this is a painful system of my mental illness
I remember constantly being afraid in the army
It was very tiring and painful
Everyday I awake
I learn of more people watching each other
Everyone wants to know what their neighbor does
Why do you think consumers buy drones
Most companies don’t care if you buy something
Or even if you see their ads
What they really want to know is
What are your bathroom habits
And what is in your bedroom drawers
They want to know everything you do
Even where you are in your house
They follow you around the neighborhood
And keep track of everything you buy anywhere
They want your face, voice, and fingerprints
What is so valuable about this information
For legitimate purposes
Ads and crime are merging more and more
As government and business already have
What will happen when companies
Have to administrate punishments
Why is everyone watching everyone
Nobody trust anyone anymore
It is just easier to make money through fraud
Then through honest means
Just like it is easier to fight a war
When you don’t have to serve on the front lines
Winter Sunrise
I open the door
And the night is still upon us
The stars are especially bright
And the sky is black as oil
The entire moon is fully visible
And hangs too low in the sky
The sky is turning navy blue
Fading in color to the best shade of blue
The air has a bite to it
And the cold works its way into my bones
Some of my best memories
Are in the cold and dark
Walking through bushes at scout summer camp
To get to the bathrooms
Getting on the bus to go to a speech tournament
And listening to Depeche Mode
Staying up all night at a Model UN conference
My first time with no sleep for 72 hours
A field trip to Portland
For a political club I started
A cheerleading Christmas party
I was the secret Santa for the one I later asked out
The night of my high school graduation
Not walking home until the next morning
The long walk home with rifle ready
From basic training field training exercises
My one time at a strip club
With friends while in Army training
The Valentine’s Day (Night) I arrived in Hawaii for my assigned unit
We went to a Navy beach the next day
The biggest church on Honolulu
We went out for a kind of young adults group date
I walked across town
Because I thought I had missed the last bus
Walking home from Linux club meeting
A few months before my diagnosis
And walking back from a music concert
I volunteered at in town, in the rain
Many times walking home from movies
Like at the local avant grade theater
When I am weak, You are strong
Dribbles of chocolate
Many drops of honey
The tongue has a mind of its own
Our tastes are too much for us
Sometimes extreme is too much
And vanilla ice cream taste much better
How do I find my way back
When I am lost in countless tunnels
I cannot escape the incense
The siren calls like a drill sergeant
That which seems good and true
Can be nothing but a soul trap
Why do our minds wander
Even when we read scripture
Each step gets harder
Two step forward and one back
It is like a difficult dance move
And I cannot even count to 8
It is hard to do a counter move
When you have no rhythm
Each move of the game
Is driven too often by dice
If you cannot understand no
And overextend yourself
Your back gets sore
And your muscles cramp
How do we move forward
When we are paralyzed with fear
The fear that captivates our imagination
The fear that completes the sentence
Weak words and profound actions
How to I get back
To a new page and blank stare
Where chanting breaks into melody
And the beat breaks its own rhythm
What is the key to salvation
When we are deep in dreaming
Break dancing seems out of place
For a kind of martial art
But stranger things make sense
When you can never really relax
How can you feel safe alone
When you cannot trust your own mind
Unsuccessfully killing time is dangerous
When you cannot stop counting cards
But so is losing control in your dreams
And waking without inspiration
Everything is worth pursuing
Until these things start pursuing you
Strength is usually relative
And the right way is often covered in fog
Each step of writing is worth repeating
Only when there is no other way
Emotions are always tricky
When you are out of your mind
Maybe a Screw is Loose
Time is not eternal
But now is forever
In each shift in light
Our digital future is uncertain
Sunrise to annoying alarm
I laugh in my soul
I cry in my heart
Sometimes things are so clear
Other times light and dark
All blur together
Be always alert
We are all under the watchful eye
Better than a wandering eye
Rolling off the bed
A loud cracking sound
My head always hurts
When I try to think
In each step off the bed
I stumble less every day
Is sleep better in darkness
Is silence better than laughter
Why can’t that buzzing stop
Pops all around
I flip over in place
I switch my position
Like a politician
In each step I grow bigger
Now I have giant feet
I pull the fleece over my eyes
As learn how to escape the nightmares
With glee and stubborn determination
I awake to the sunset
Where did the day go?
Chasing darkness all my life
I can only stand so much light
Laughter burns in my ears
I can barely stand
If my life depended on it
How do I sort through my fears
How do I open the door
My keys are lost in my wallet
I listen to the grass grow
And watch the paint peel off the wall
Sometimes time disappears
The clock breaks all the time
Sometimes the pain is too great
To break the beat of the drums
Exercise can be painful
Only when you are there
For the wrong reasons
I make it across the yard
Dodging toy soldiers and silly string
I cannot stop the silence
When will it be gone
They all say go home boy
All in unison
A choir motivated by fear
A really great conductor
That can’t stop talking
And the music just sounds louder now
I can dance on my toes
But only when you scratch my belly
It just seems weird
When I cannot hear the sound of my voice
Over the incessant mowing of the lawn
It is like a constant war
I just cannot find my jungle boots
I put my pants on
As I go through one belt and another
I forgot to take a shower
What is deodorant for
I am now stuck to the glue
Spilled all over my coach
Stop playing with paper airplanes
Until the paint dries
I take a turn at breakfast
Until I drop eggs on the stove
The fumes are hard to take
I play a song for children
And cannot stop the music
The most terrifying thing
Is how loud the color of red was
We mix and match cheeses
As the plate turns in circles
I point forward to the future
The only future I can see
Is building a fort in the living room
We need to invest in defense somehow
Its not like the ants will ever stop
Their loud rock music
Besides the neighbors will rejoice
Until the ants become really smart
Why are there so many holes in my wall
If I have such are hard time being heard
I can barely see out my windows
Maybe they are painted shut
If only I could sell the painting
Off the front of my door
Set 2
Seeing and Doing
Selfish is the mirror
When we cannot see past it
Selfish are the legs
When we cannot move past what we see
When the obstacles are many
And the options few
Everyday we become more blind
And there is less to write
There is less to see
As more and more dies
There is an end to our story
But can it be a happy one
The day has come
For us to rejoice in boredom
And focus on what we are doing
Having enough to eat
Is like finding a good paying job
Having time for fun is only necessary for the laborer
For those with means
Or ample funding
Creation is its own reward
As joy appears at the beginning of each page
A job is essential to eat
A purpose is a way of life
Why I Don’t Watch Science Fiction Anymore
Political refugees fight evil doctors who gave girl Schizophrenia
While transporting things for for evil people and barely escaping with their lives
The original vampires constantly torturing members of their own family
And compelling people and other vampires to do their bidding
Earth taken over by giant cockroaches
That tried to turn the kids into ones as well
A world where electricity is all gone
Cruel dictator after cruel dictator commit increasingly evil genocides against the populations
A future world where we colonize asteroid belt and mars
And first alien life used to turn kids into monsters
A future paradise for the rich run by corporations that lets regular people fend for themselves
Poor women sell themselves as consorts who managers can do anything to relieve stress
Kids sent to back to earth to see if it is inhabitable
People constantly in pain fighting for the last patch of green
A alien race conquering earth
The representative looks like a stereotypical devil
People constantly try to stop apocalypse but never succeed
Realize that evil person who unleashed this plague is their son
A modern day pagan version of CS Lewis’s Narnia
Where they start to have interesting adventures until another horrible tragedy sets them back
A Weak Heart
At the speed of the worlds fastest sprinter
In the twinkle of a distant star
Up and down like the feet of a cross country runner
Like the jostle of packages in an old delivery van
With the attention span of newborn puppy
Like the heart beat of a dying man
We feel nothing more than a child does
And our words rarely go beyond mad, sad, and happy
How can we describe what we cannot pin down
How can be hope to treat what we cannot prove
Each sentence an essayist writes
Can only capture what can be put into words
If we cannot speak or comprehend
The voices in another’s mind
How can we hope to lessen another’s pain
Or share in their boundless joy
Like a stuffed toy listening and pondering in silence
We need to have the patience of a monk
And the strength of will necessary for proper meditation
Like the burst of the big bang
We feel wave after wave of fear
Like a giant whirlpool
Our joy runs down the drain
When we hurt, sometimes it just doesn’t stop
Even when we cry out to God
We can spend countless hours in counseling
Even every day
Sometimes the joy just rushes out of us
Like a firefighter rushing away to a fire
Sometimes we hurt so much
All we can do is cry
When you are both terrified and hopeless
There is a little a therapist can do
As that is not the way the medicines work
They can put you down in an instant
But resolving loneliness and emptiness
Is a lifetime struggle
Sometimes the self help books
Are at once too much and too little
Sometimes our problems just don’t fit into any system
Some philosophers have thought of this situation
And that is why I read philosophy
Sometimes the patient must heal himself
When you don’t know what to pray
And you are really stuck in shifting sands
Do the seeming unexpected
Thank God for His help
We plan ahead way too much
For all the wrong things
We need to let things be
After we have done all we can
Time may heal all wounds
But when it hurts so much
How do you have patience
Sometimes you have no choice
Being stuck in pain and fear
And knowing it will continue
And there is no way out of it
That is the definition of true terror
There are some choices
You cannot come back from
Sometimes being too aware
Can paralyze you
Sometimes in one split second
Eternity can pass multiple times
When you have no power or choice
You know you have joined the military
When you see no joy in your future
Maybe you can provide joy for others
Wonder Psychology
Explanation:
- One of the titles or names of the Christian God is “Wonderful Counselor”.
- I believe that Paul is the first existentialist and the inspiration for modern psychology originally comes from the Bible.
Who is this Counselor
Who has a perfect blend of emotions
Who has no personal issues
That carries no baggage
Who can guarantee His integrity
And is recommended by His greatest critics
His practice is older than mankind
The most stable Mind
And the biggest Heart
But Who has the greatest case of emotional trauma
Yet the most kind and forgiving
Your information is protected better than with properly prepared encryption
His voice is His password
Which no one knows or can generate
Who helps me fall asleep
Without medication or meditation
Who knows what bad and good I have done
Who you can always call at any time
He has no waiting room
No waiting for appointments or in line
You are always His most urgent case
No need for computer or phone
Without chat or teleconferencing
You will always get a Real Person in Person
Even in the middle of combat or on Mars
You can have a six hour session
In the blink of an eye
No need to explain anything
Qualified for diagnosing and treating anything
Perfect knowledge of all brain activity
He always knew the brain constantly evolves
Who can alter your brain chemistry
As precisely as a brain surgeon
No side effects or conflicts in medications ever
No medications to remember to take
His diagnosis is always correct
He is not limited by any laws
But created the laws in the first place
He is always honest, direct, and polite
It is impossible for Him to ever lie to you
He can articulate better than a speech therapist
He can understand even speech from fantasy novels
With the most difficult to understand speech impediment
He will never ask you to repeat anything
He can understand any language
He can interpret any dream instantly
He can treat you when you do not know what to ask for
When you cannot even describe the pain
Anywhere the pain comes from for any reason
He is also the best surgeon and specialist in every field
You need not communicate with Him at all
And He already knows your feedback
And had already implemented all your suggestions
Before you even met Him
He is on every corner
And always at your door
All you have to do is whisper
One of His known names
Your fees have already been paid
Northwest Steam Punk
Explanation:
- Steampunk is a contemporary kind of science fiction.
- It is often dark, violent, and apocalyptic as well as being futuristic merged with classical (19th century) elements and very stylized and highly detailed props, costume, and location.
- I am substituting elements of the props, costume, and location to make it less violent and dark and end up with a contemporary stereotypical hiker in the Pacific Northwest.
The spontaneity of perfectly executed Kungfu
The romantic beauty of the American south
Fields of opium as far as how eye can see
To the rhythm of the spinning wheels of a classic car
With mask over mask, gas and ballroom
Sporting the highest quality suit made of silk
Boots meticulously polished all night
Blood dripping from the finest sword
What is it that makes something romantic
How is tragedy something to sing about
When the lyrics are so sad
It doesn’t matter whose voice carries the tune
Why is it always rainy nights
And while the fog is low and dense
Mystery and magic appear uninvited
The best backdrop for bright light is darkness
Fantasies full of pain and sorrow
Stealing, murder, and sexual morality
Who writes these things
Is depressing supposed to be trending
What if we could substitute martial arts for dance
And a drum stick for a sword
Isn’t a temperate forest in Canada a more pleasant location
And growing timber a kinder way to make money
Wouldn’t running shoes be more comfortable than boots
Wouldn’t is be healthier to walk instead of driving
A waterproof jacket would keep you warmer than a suit
Instead of a metal mask, growing a beard would be softer
The plot is mixed up
And the theme thickens
As we spin up a new cast
And bake in happier endings
When writing a book makes you hungry
Maybe you really want to be a chef
When watching a movie makes you want to cry
Maybe you prefer to participate in a charity
Not every movie is fun to watch
And not every book worth the price you paid
But eventually people stop buying
When you no longer provide entertainment
A convincing story is all in the details
An adventure rests on its believability
If you cannot stick to the facts
Stop illustrating comics
Set 3
And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
—John 17:13-22
Little Poem
And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ: To the intent that now unto the principalities and powers in heavenly places might be known by the church the manifold wisdom of God, According to the eternal purpose which he purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord: In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him. Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulations for you, which is your glory. For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end.
—Ephesians 3:9-21
Some people find love
Some people find God
Some people lose their homes
Some people lose their minds
Some people forget their family
Some people forget their mistakes
Some people call themselves patriots
Some people call themselves veterans
Some people fight for political causes
Some people fight for their own souls
Some people are able to really change things
Some people let God really change them
Some people create things of value
God values people because He created them
Sometimes we suffer due to other people's sins
Sometimes we conquer our own sins
Some people hurt their bodies intentionally
Some people's bodies fail them anyway
Some people seek fame
Some people seek self control
Some people ignore animals
Some people cherish their friends
Some people hoard things
Some people enjoy giving gifts
Some people fear death
Some people fear living in pain
God Has Feelings Too
And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
--Luke 11:5-13
And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?
--Luke 18:1-8
When we are new to Christ
Everything seems so simple
The path is obvious
And choices are easy to make
We think we are selfless
And will never make any real bad decisions
Over time, problems arise
We accept less than our best
We get stuck and get discouraged
The problems become bigger than ourselves
We find navigating life exhausting
Answers are not as easy to come by
We lose focus off of Christ
As life happens
Later we see more clearly
But the path is steeper
Our thoughts easily wander
Eventually, we realize we can do nothing ourselves
And no moral compromise is acceptable
And we learn to be even more humble
Our lives gain more momentum
And we find the will to never give up
We finally commit to being a better person
We keep releasing that all roads lead to Christ
When I was younger, I thought it was important to God what job I had
And I was in more of a rush
I did not know how much time I would have
I was afraid of missing out on life
I thought it ok to have just one weakness
Later I found out that we worry about the wrong things
I know now that God leaves little to chance or even our control
Just like in the Book of Jonah about the Prophet Jonah and the whale
God will not leave anything important dependent upon human choice
We will screw things up and life will make even simple things hard
We soon learn to more careful as we see how weak we really are
God’s goal is about drawing each of us closer to Himself
He doesn’t need us to do anything
Many times we just need to wait
I used to fear that God wanted me to do something very painful
Now I worry more about the pain I will bring upon myself by my poor choices
The secret to minimize suffering is to put our future entirely in God’s hands
Hear little evil, see little evil, and you will do little evil
Stop worrying about satisfying yourself
And seek to find fulfillment in the Holy Spirit within you
If you think your life lacks miracles
And you are not literally in hell
Miracles abound
Salvation is the beginning, not the end of our struggle
Grace is a journey and a process, not a single event
This is what I misunderstood abut the personal relationship with God that other Christians talk about
It is not that we earn salvation or need some special access to God to be saved
It explains why some Christians appear mostly good and others mostly evil
The Church is a battleground
Spending time with God is spiritual warfare
To move forward is to walk hand in hand with God
Who Am I Today?
Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field: But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way. But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also. So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares? He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.
--Matthew 13:24-30
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
--James 4:8-10
The biggest question
In our society
Why we hate the old
And only want to be young
What does it mean to live?
What is our purpose in life?
Does each person need a different purpose?
When we leave our parent's home
When we get our first apartment
What is worth pursuing?
Is romantic love most important?
Or is our priority simply getting a job to pay the rent
What does it mean to be responsible today?
Just living today is destroying the world
But how do we pursue something beyond paying our bills?
Do we earn more for our families?
Or do we pursue our dreams?
Then life happens
We get a major illness
Or have a kid
It now seems we have less choice
And we have no time
Would it make you feel better
If you knew that this life is just our gestation period?
Life as we know it is like living as a seed in the ground
Our future as flowers only exists after we die
Do not seek enlightenment in this life
Seek to live forever after death
Living Christianity is simple
Forgive others as Christ forgives you
Humble yourself before God
And He will give you the keys to paradise
You then only need to keep the faith
Continue to choose God and others above yourself
Remember Christ lived the ultimate life
He only lived to his 33rd year
He was neither leader, inventor, scholar, or artist
He alone made the biggest effect on history
By His sermons alone
If you spend this live getting closer to God
This will be one thing you can carry with you
Beyond this life
On Singing
And the Lord shall scatter you among the nations, and ye shall be left few in number among the heathen, whither the Lord shall lead you. And there ye shall serve gods, the work of men's hands, wood and stone, which neither see, nor hear, nor eat, nor smell. But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.
--Deuteronomy 4:27-31
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
--Matthew 6:31-34
Every other song
Weeps of love lost
Every other song
Celebrates love’s triumph
Ever songwriter seeks peace
Every singer seeks joy
We all feel empty
We all feel bored
We all want significant others
We all want significant lives
We are taught to seek money
We are taught to treasure fame
In an age where anonymity is king
And less technology is more attractive
We listen to those who can sing
Because there is little we can say
It is hard to find meaning
When we are preoccupied with our technology
It is hard to have time
When everything creative looks the same
When did we forget to feel
When did our souls go dark
As the music travels across the room
It goes in one ear and out the other
It is hard not to be convinced
Of what the world wants us to believe
But if we take even a small break
Breakthroughs can be spontaneous and fast
When nothing makes sense
Some things are always true
When you cannot find a friend
There is always Someone there
Even This is His
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well .
--Psalms 139:7-14
The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot. The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage. I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
—Psalm 16:5-11
He alone is the Lord God
He is where you would never guess He is
The depths and depravity of the underworld
The weird little world of subatomic particles
The lives of the one-celled organism
The farthest dimensions of the multiverse
The computational and encryption capabilities of the fastest quantum computer
The scary and dangerous world of science fiction and fantasy
The dreams and hallucinations of the most famous Hollywood writers
The hottest jungles and densest cities
The nests of the most poisonous snakes
The emptiest deserts and tundras on the farthest moons
The depths of the ocean of another Earth-like planet
The will as strong as a special forces soldier
The independence of an astronaut or cosmonaut
The saddest moment in your life
The death of the nicest person
The poorest squatter village and shanty town
The biggest pile of obsolete technology
The hearts of the worst leaders
The comments of online forums
All ultimately serve Him
And His purposes
Whether they want to or not
Because He created (what turned into) even this
He alone is the Lord God
He is where you would never guess He is
Social Issues and Philosophy
It is one thing to doubt the integrity of your country
And something quite different to challenge the basis of your current technological revolution
Its one thing to have an increase in crime
And quite another when most people refuse to follow laws
It is one thing to disagree with politics
It is something entirely different to challenge another person’s religion
It is one thing to not believe in a certain religion
It is quite another to not believe in God at all
Sometimes it may be enough to simply elect another leader
It is another thing entirely when your system of government is becoming irrelevant
It is one thing to lose your country
It is another to lose the ability to feed yourself
It is one thing to decide to go to war
It is entirely different to fight in one
It is one thing to deliver orders
And something completely different to follow them
It is one thing to lose a war
And another entirely to lose a family member because of war
It is one thing to have aches and pain as you get older
And very different to live with only part of your brain functional
Losing an argument may be unfortunate
But losing your values is quite another thing
While we fight over the future of education
People in mass are starting to communicate only though pictures and video
We fight for a balance of world power
When the entire world economy is slowly unravelling
We see the Internet as the deliverer of bad things to the world
But we don’t look deeper down to the breakdown of trust in society
We think people are too cynical
But do we ever watch the news
We are becoming more negative and divided about politics
But half of the voting population chooses to not vote
We think the other political party is the source of all that is wrong in the nation
But similar problems abound around the globe
We fear about the future of our country
But how about the future of your own soul?
If you had only an hour free
Would you watch the news one more time
Or listen to God one more time
Would you rather go to church
Or would your rather listen to unbelievers
We have a lot of decisions to make
Or maybe we only need to decide one thing
We fight over low and high culture
But do we even have a culture at all
We certainly have no history or philosophy
That explains our society
Now and Then Fragments
When I was young, I wanted an adventure
Now I am happy to feel full and sleep in a warm bed
People often ask, how did you accept that you have Schizophrenia?
I thank God I survived the Army without anything worse happening
The answer to suffering is to spend more time with God
Focus on that you can do to limit your own suffering
The only real question I still have is: why does God care about us?
Animals are God’s greatest creation, not people
It is like having a robot, with your face on it, that is too dumb to keep itself clean
When I worry about the survival of my writings,
I understand God can make them appear out of nowhere, just as easily as I grow my own hair
We worry too much abut what we have little control over
and worry too little about what we have full control over
For every technical and intellectual advancement over the last 3 centuries,
there have been many more moral failures
What is the answer?
How do we learn to be kind and then follow through with it, consistently?
Open your Bibles, while you still have them
We put so much effort into proving God;
how much time do we focus on living like Christ did?
Do we have His priorities?
Do we use His methods?
Do we really care?
Have we let God really transform us?
We see things in this world going down the drain
But do we know how to fight our future?
The Bible is your only approved weapon
Your protection is the Lord Himself
We need to fight for the truth
But how do we find truth?
The only thing we know for sure is our conscience
Remember that this is only the fist part of your life
You are still in the womb your entire life on earth
As you kill your immorality, by being plunged underwater and you emerge, as a new person, forgiven,
So you emerge after death, as the rock is broken, that holds you down to earth, you fade into the sunrise,
but someone is always watching you, so keep up the good fight
While you still have this opportunity, to rescue others, from this sinking ship
We have no control over what situation we are born into,
but we have complete control over where we spend the rest of our lives, after we die
Essays
Critical Conscience
There are almost always more than 2 sides to a story.
I am trying to work through various frustrating and depressing situations I have encountered in my life. My big goal is for people to avoid suffering. I have for many years been told that I write well. I do not know if I communicate what I want to as well as I can partially because my combination of views is very unusual (there is relatively little previous work to draw from). Yes, I really believe the views I express, but I do not write to persuade.
I write so that others might avoid suffering. I write to give an account that some people disagreed with what was accepted as ok in our society. I mainly write to others who have experienced similar things in life or have similar opinions on things so as to give them a voice.
You have heard of conservatives and liberals but have you heard of an apocalyptic worldview? I realize that most people will find offense with at least one of my major points. On the other hand, I believe that I offend most people equally. There will always be people smarter, stronger, and better at everything than any of us. Despite our limitations, we need to do what we know is right.
I am very critical of a lot of things people assume are true. For one thing, I do not think that someone is better or understands things better just because they are smarter or more rational (or have more education). The thing that really concerns me is when people in authority think they speak for God. This is basically the crux of the issue.
As an existentialist, I think that no one can be objective as that is equivalent to saying you are God. I do believe in the Bible and absolutes contained within, but the moment it leaves the pages it is an interpretation, not a binding contract. God's ideas are binding, but peoples are not.
I believe that there are obvious things in life that I cannot deny that are not in Scripture. I also believe there are some things that are basic and are very clear in the Bible, while others are not. I believe that we should focus on these and not focus on things we are unlikely to figure out.
I am trying to resolve one of the issues I see brought up a lot that seems to separate believers from unbelievers. This is the issue of the absolute vs. relative understanding of the Bible. Christians and non-believers agree that many things in the Bible are unclear. Christians think that some of these ideas are clear, but disagree on which ones are. I am clear on what is clear and not, as well, although many would not agree.
I believe God is rational and reasonable and so how can we disagree on things that are necessary for salvation? Some of the biggest issues that divided the church over the bulk of history were not about theology, but about how people determine what is true. We agree on the Bible, but disagree on reality in general and everything not in Scripture.
Some people believe that the government's laws are a good force in the world, where others do not. Some people believe when people in authority say things, while others do not. Some people have challenged what they have been taught in school. Some people think what they were taught in school is true. Some people think that reason explains the world while some people think the world is fundamentally spiritual.
These are ideas in a discipline called philosophy (theory of knowledge, to be specific). I have definite ideas about what I think and you probably do too. I am not challenging that. What I am challenging is what we assume not based on our conscience or experiences but based on the society we live in.
Do you like the way the world is and do you want to accept this view of reality? If not, I think philosophy is worth studying. Philosophy is not anti-religion. Philosophy is another topic that crosses over in many ways like how Science and Math work together.
So instead of us asking is something rational, try asking is it morally right? Instead of asking whether a certain idea is compatible with the Bible, consult your conscience. Sometimes we make things more complicated then they need to be. This is just something to think about. There are no right or wrong answers in philosophy, unlike there are in religion.
Emotional Biography
There are almost always more than 2 sides to a story.
I grew up in the 90s where I first found out about the environmental crisis. We thought people would from then start cutting back and we would prevent a lot of the worst effects of global warming. We had won a very quick and easy war with Iraq, so that they would not control too much oil. There was later no meaningful progress on the environment but many more wars about oil.
At the same time the Soviet empire was collapsing and so we didn't have to fight Russians in the Middle East. Luckily we avoided having to fight any of Saddam Hussein's special forces because we basically did the same strategy we did during World War 2 D-day - we faked right and went left. We were very lucky in convincing Saddam Hussein that if he used chemical weapons (poisonous gas), we would nuke his country. Luckily also our top of the line military equipment likes tanks and stealth aircraft, which were designed for fighting Russians in Eastern Europe, worked well in the deserts of the Middle East. Luckily also we were able to hold off Iraq or 6 months for us to deploy (move) enough soldiers, marines, and airmen into the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
The US public then learned about Middle East geography and the new weapons developed for the previous cold war for the first time. We watched some of the war live at home on the first cable new network, CNN. We bombed them for months and then took the country in a matter of a couple days. Technologically we were very much like the Germans during Word War II, if they invaded America. This was a war fought with weapons and strategy that would impress NAZI Germany.
Little did I know at the time that I would be in Army Basic Training 5 years from when this war started. I did not do as well in school as I was capable of and so joined the Army for college money and because I cared for the people and environment of America.
During High School, I had gone back to Washington DC as a first prize state-wide winner of a national peace essay contest. Even at this time I did not see democracy as workable in the Middle East or even possible - why would anyone in power willingly share it with others? I became an Eagle Scout. I started my own Ross Perot United We Stand America inspired political club at my high school. I ran 3 years cross country and track (always dead last place) and was a Varsity Cheer Leader for one year. I served as a staff member at 2 different summer camps, 2 different years at different ends of my state. I enlisted in the Army in the summer between my junior and senior year and I spent my senior year getting in shape for the Army.
I was an early (in my life) proponent of existentialism. I argued with the teachers that when we were supposed to mark things true that were facts and false that were opinions, that a fact could not be a truth, but an opinion could be. When I left the military early and ended up stopping out (stop taking classes) at my university, while previously studying Chinese Literature, I really thought that Taoism explained how I was different and made sense to me as I was a failure at ending both the military and college before I was finished.
I looked into getting into programming at this time and learned about Linux for the first time. I started my own website to share my poetry with my uncle. I also though for several years around this time that I also might be a goth to help explain how I was different. I was originally discharged from the military due to a personality disorder but I was told it was really because of my sensitivity to chemicals. I later went back to school as my parents helped me as I ran out of money living on my own.
I had to make up some credits so I ended up taking courses on Existentialism, Eco-feminism, and Art and Gender. I really enjoyed and did well in all these summer classes. I realized I was also an existentialist and that I might have some natural inclination towards philosophy in general. At this time, I changed my major from Business Administration to Journalism as I realized also that I was good at writing and both hated and did not do well in Business. I had originally chosen Business Management as a major as I enjoyed a marketing class in high school plus it was considered one of the few majors that was practical at the time. I ended up taking under division accounting 5 times, but did quite well in under division economics. My deteriorating ability to do basic math came about this time and totally sunk my ability to pass courses.
I took a class on Beauvoir which we studied as a philosopher. She was the lover of Sartre and applied his philosophy to feminism. She was famous for writing the Second Sex. I spent most my time that quarter trying to read through all her writings. I ended up very happily ripping one up and putting several of her books into the fireplace after the course ended. I also took a class on grammar at the time which I did pass but never took the test at the end we needed to do journalism as it stressed me out so much. It was at the end of this term around the Winter vacation that I had my paranoid episode, was voluntarily committed to a psychiatric ward of a private hospital, and diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia.
My parents helped me get set up and started as I would likely have been on the streets without their help. I thought I just had an emotional breakdown and did not know until about a month later that I had Schizophrenia. The veterans eventually accepted my application and awarded me with a 100% service connected disability. I ended up getting into a group home until I got the pension and ended up living in my own apartment at various locations around town, with a 2 year stay in a retirement home. Over the last 21 years, I have written about 3,000 pages about my experiences and what I have read about. I never got published as I was never willing to sell my copyright and actually give most of it away for free under a what is called a Creative Commons License with the stipulation that it is not altered. I have read about technology almost every day since then.
I had a big time period of depression and paranoia around the economic crisis of 2008. Around that time, I collected supplies for survival, learned about disaster survival, and emotionally accepted that society can and will come apart at any time. Several years later, I was under the impression that I could not be happy and be Christian, until I read a book called Eat, Pray, Love which helped me accept where I am now and accept that I am not responsible for other people’s lives and problems. I also gave up watching News around this time and recently now do not watch any TV. Science Fiction shows are the only one that interest me and there are just too many triggers for paranoia in them. The news caused me a great deal of depression.
I have recently fully accepted that it is likely I will never find romantic love in my lifetime. I do not have any animals as I cannot take care of them, but I do have many stuffed toys that talk to me. I never got on social media and stopped writing comments on tech articles about 10 years ago. I tried many times to learn about others areas of study, get involved in churches, and various community groups, but they always stress me out too much. I am close with my family, sister’s in laws, and I now have a niece.
This may seem like a letdown if this happened to you, but I should be and am happy. I live in the richest and easiest to live in country in the world, I live in the best part of it and probably the best city in that state. It rains a lot here, but this brings back good memories for me. This is one of the reasons I never traveled.
I have the most secure forms of income you can have and have never had debt (or only for a very short time). The VA medical system is rapidly improving in my area, the vegetation is trimmed much better near the sidewalks and bus stops than it was in the past, and the homeless situation has vastly improved. I am exercising better and have more money on hand.
I have reduced the amount I spend on the Internet access, website services, and how much I spend on food by about 1/2 each. I have also gotten rid of a lot of the toys I collected that I never even saw and got a 2012 Mac Pro in the trade which cost my $25 total for a cable to get it working. Between the increased processing power and software optimizations, I can get a 3d model ready for the web in seconds instead of hours.
I recently figured out how to make artwork out of just text, photos, and logos all in vector format while still keeping a shiny and glossy look and saved huge amounts of space. I have used several new programs for my web design that make it easier and faster to create artwork and writing. I have also gotten my website code organized and thought out well enough that I am making it available for others for free. Between 10 and 20 years ago, I often had to undo a design and roll it back to an earlier version, which I have not had to do for at least 5 years.
About the US Army
Publicly Available Information
When I served in the military, our enemy was people who attacked us and we did not torture. Today, my country does not trust its own citizens, as it spies on us, not the terrorists. If our country does not trust us, we should not trust our country. At the same time, you can learn a lot about the military and intelligence online, as there is more and more information available on websites and in books and film that is not classified at all.
Recently it has been released by the Catholic church that they did intelligence operations on behalf of the Allies during World War 2 and that is why the Pope did not speak out against Hitler (details in Church of Spies book). It was likely not let out until recently because the Vatican waits something like 80 years to release internal records for a lot of sensitive things and there likely was some related intelligence source or method that this would reveal that America or NATO used in some capacity.
This makes you wonder what happened to all those NAZI leaders who snuck out via the Catholic priests to South America. Did they go to interrogation and then firing squads? Did the Israeli NAZI hunters know this?
The current surveillance system was created in the 90s, long before September 11th, 2001. How do you think they were ready all of a sudden after 9/11? One of the architects of this who worked for the NSA and did not reveal any classified information unlike Snowden but was a whistleblower was blacklisted from any employment in technology industry and is basically unheard of.
Army Mission
One of the reasons the Army isn't as prestigious as and cheaper than other services to run is because the Army is not glamorous nor do they get an air force like all the other services do. Our country still thinks it can bomb a country to submission and be able to fight wars without casualties or drafts and wants to use all the money they spent on Stealth technology. They do not want to use infantry if they can avoid it because the US population can't accept this reality.
Our military was designed fundamentally to fight wars against countries with similar worldviews and developed economies like Russia or China. America is having a hard time adapting the whole thinking behind deeply ingrained training techniques that predate our country. We are stepping into a war that has been going on for at least 1500 years, from when Muhammed came out of Arabia and occupied the Christian population in the Middle East. The big dates were not Columbus and the Fall of Rome. They were the Arab invasions where Islam was finally stopped in southern France and the second siege of Vienna where the techniques we use today were developed for.
The big thing that made the world modern was the fall of Constantinople about 50 years before Columbus. The Dutch then basically developed the modern world to get nutmeg to Europe to preserve food and the Habsburgs (the biggest empire ever) used all the gold they stole from South America to fight off Islam. Some of those tiny little countries in Eastern Europe we ignore like Poland, Austria, Hungary and Albania saved France and England from becoming Islamic centuries before now. Unfortunately, France almost destroyed everything by allying with the Ottoman Empire (most successful Islamic empire ever) and financing the Protestant Reformation in what is now Germany (while persecuting Protestants within France).
Another things to think about is not only do we have commitments in both Europe and the Far East for protection of a number of nations (partly because we won't let them have a military) but we also control all the seas lanes over the entire world. We are also constantly running "soft power" operations (via direct action intelligence and special forces) over every country without lots of nuclear weapons.
The Navy must be much more expensive to run than people probably realize. Remember that the Defense Department uses black money so no one really knows how much money they are actually using (and the CIA has its own money printing press). Also, most money now is in electronic storage, so anything can happen to that at any time very easily.
The British learned hundreds of years beforehand that you had to do immoral things to get intelligence and it was never reliable especially when using non-citizens for sources. This is why MI5 AND MI6 were developed so late even though the British had been using intelligence to sabotage their enemies for at least 500 year now. Another alternative to doing this is to increase security of sensitive areas like oil refineries, nuclear plants, and computer networks to responsible levels.
My Experience
I know very little about how intelligence is done, but I do know how the military thinks after serving there and completing all my training before I became mentally ill and got to leave. For those who want to know how things work now in national security in the US, you can learn a lot from the TV show Burn Notice. The main character sums up how national security workers have to accept that the they will have to do bad things for good reasons and good things for bad reasons.
Of course going through Basic Training would teach you much more. What might surprise you about my training is we were never trained to hate anyone, we were not indoctrinated to any kind of ideology, we never were trained in hand to hand combat, and the training was actually too easy and humane to prepare for war.
After training, most soldiers go to light infantry units where they get in as good a shape as olympic athletes. And churches support the military much more than other people would believe. There are actually many different churches on the bases themselves, chaplains are used for counseling extensively, and churches proselytized right in the barracks. Light infantry Army bases let anyone on the base without IDs because there is nothing for people to see or steal.
Also, everyone in my unit wanted to leave even though we were stationed in Hawaii. The rules and penalties are extremely tough for minor infractions and almost all the monetary and education benefits are not available for many reasons. The big way the military helps you in college is that you don't have to count in your parents income, so you are eligible for higher Pell Grants to help pay for college.
There are also many different types of discharges other than honorable and dishonorable. For any benefits, you must have an honorable discharge. Also, if you are in for less than 6 months, they don't even keep records of your service. To be recognized as a disabled veteran is very difficult especially because you have to be able to prove it and they don't count repetitive stress injuries like knee problems (soldiers spend most their time crawling on the ground, not running, so as to escape machine gun fire).
About Trust
God and Government are Different Things
There are almost always more than 2 sides to a story.
What is the biggest issue now in society? Trust is. The only real question we really have about this is when did it start? I don't mean the lack of trust. I mean the breach of trust. Definitely many people had myths and later conspiracy stories that talked about this that are as old as time. I think a big part of this goes back to the issue of war, because it is one of the most grievous and destructive sins society as a whole does.
The big war that started opening our eyes to the rest of the World is WW II. Basically, there was a huge technological advance made by Germany in the 19th and early 20th centuries. If the Dutch created the modern society we live in, the Germans invented all the basic technologies we base our society on today. Word War 2 also was a passing of the baton to the Americans from the British of their world empire as the British realized it was necessary to sacrifice their empire to win World War II (the French didn't and that is the sources of a lot of cold war wars).
So we go back to the British and their belief that they were exceptional and that it was God's will that they educate the poor peoples of this world. The British actually got to where they were by pure luck and dirty tricks. First of all, most Northwest Europeans are very close ethnically and were only different because of language which a big part of that was if they were part of the former Roman Empire or not. The British were invaded many times. Their claim to fame was that no one ever invaded and successfully occupied Scotland, including the English.
English history officially traces back to the invasion of England by the French (Normans), later the Scottish king inherited the English throne, then the Dutch invaded England in 1688 to free them from the fears of being forced to be Catholic. When England was young, they were occupied by the Danish Vikings. The English themselves came from what is now Germany. Now most people in England are half Anglo-Saxon and half Viking genetically.
The biggest reason why we have the major powers of World War 2 being England, France, Germany, and the US is because of the industrial revolution which was made possible by a new kind of plough and slight weather change that allowed them to grow more crops. These countries had the biggest supplies of easy to access coal and iron, which were necessary to sell the premium goods of that generation. The world at that time wanted guns, ships, trains, and bridges that were built with iron and fueled by coal just like today they want electronic products and services from Apple, Google, Facebook, and Amazon.com.
There is now a big distinction made between West and East Europe. This is due to economic changes made possible by the Industrial revolution and the world empires of Western Europe. It would be very hard for countries like Poland and Hungary, who were major players in Renaissance Europe, to become world powers, when they did not have direct access to the Atlantic Ocean, like all the other major European empires had. One of the big reasons why Europe became so powerful and England in particular was because they had totalitarian governments at the time, so they could move quicker and they stayed out of wars with each other (after Napoleon and before World War I).
So the Protestant Reformation is often thought of in America as a purely religious movement, but what separated it from many reform movements that existed after the Crusades happened that was that is was just as much about politics as about religion. It was the first instance of a case for International law. The French persecuted Protestants in their own country, while supporting the Reformation in what is now Germany, because they did not want to be taken over by the Habsburgs.
The Habsburgs had the biggest empire of all time including the entire Spanish and Portuguese Empires (at their largest size) as well as modern Germany and Central Europe. At that time the Habsburgs, Polish and Hungarians were fighting off the Ottoman Empire to keep Europe Christian. France went even farther and allied with the Ottoman Empire against their Catholic rivals. This makes a good argument against the morality or unity of Western Europeans.
So the surprising thing about today to Americans is a big yawn fest to the rest of the world. We have now grown up as we learned what it means to hate. We can now fully relate with the rest of the world being motivated mostly by revenge. You can look to how liberals were treated in America in the 20th century to how conservatives will be treated in the 21st.
The next step is to stay out of other countries business as we have a hard time following our own constitution in our own country. Maybe if we agreed that we are not a democracy or for human rights (and we are just a historical accident where we took advantage of a situation and did what was convenient for us) the world may not hate us more than they do the other world powers. The time when we need to worry is not when they hate us, but when they stop caring at all about us.
Our world police state is now spying on its own Empire, not on its resistance. It is hard to trust a country that does not trust you. Too many people in power claim to be religious at the same time they clamor for war (on both those sides). Religion should stand against war and not promote it.